After The Fall
by thelandongrey
Summary: Everyone talks about the struggle to get back up after the fall. My struggle is more complicated than that – my struggle is to pick us both up and keep us standing long enough to grow and to heal until we're strong enough to emerge from the darkness and resist being pushed back in.
1. Chapter 1: With A Glance

Quick Notes: Pretty Little Liars is not mine; I'm just playing with the characters. Spoilers for this story include any and all PLL episodes. I'm a huge Paily fan, but not a Maya basher, so what mention of Maya there may be will not be negative and will only follow the canon of the show. The story mostly follows the trajectory of the show up until "The Lady Killer" and will probably go slightly off course from there (at least until the hiatus is over).

Please let me know if there are any glaring errors. Also let me know what you think and if you have any questions/comments/suggestions as the story progresses.

That said, on with the show.

Chapter 1: With A Glance

Through the glare of the flashing lights, I could see Emily starting to break down.

She was balancing on the edge of complete, unadulterated panic and only those closest to her could see the signs clearly. To the officer badgering her for information she must have seemed like any other victim – in shock and scared, but ultimately uninjured and relieved that it was all over. I could see the panic building in her glassy eyes from my position a few yards away. I was explaining my abduction in as little detail as possible, not really paying attention to the questions I was being asked as I focused in on Emily and the building tension in her hands as she wrung her bloodstained fingers together. Her body started to tremble and her chest began to heave as her gaze zeroed in on Hanna and the sobbing heartbreak unfolding beyond the police tape. Her unblinking eyes flicked to Caleb's prone form being loaded into the ambulance. When the truck's doors closed, Emily's shoulders flinched and her stare was broken just long enough to glance at me. She looked so broken, so overcome with fear and not knowing. She broke the contact quickly with a look I hadn't seen before.

Shame? Nervousness? Fear? Was she afraid of me?

I didn't have time to figure out the look before I saw her begin to shift her weight between her feet. That was the last signal – the last clue that she was about to come unhinged and I couldn't let her lose it in front of all these spectators. I pushed my way between the two cops questioning her, drawing their attention just long enough for her to slip away. Her eyes met mine for a split second and I tilted my head slightly, silently willing her to go to Hanna, trying to convey with my gaze that I understood what was coming next and that she needed her friends. She rushed around the police and through the crowd where she instantly engulfed Hanna in her arms, both girls breaking down completely on contact.

The police had begun to walk away from me as I watched the girl I loved seek comfort in the arms of her three best friends. I looked at my feet for a second, hoping to gain some understanding on why she didn't want any comfort from me. I looked up again, expecting to see Emily turning around to call me over once she'd found the peace she needed in knowing her friends were all ok. I was met instead by Spencer's unwavering stare. The look in here eye was not of fear or anger as I'd come to expect from the girl, but something more akin to sympathy or even pity. She seemed to convey some unknown truth with her gaze, causing my body to shudder and my knees to weaken as I thought over the possibilities.

I had to look away. Was Spencer trying to tell me that I didn't belong with Emily? That she was too good for me? Did Emily talk to Spencer about our relationship? I know her friends had been after her for weeks about me and our relationship, but up until now I'd never felt I had reason to doubt her loyalty to me. Was Emily pulling away from me because of what happened tonight? Was tonight just a catalyst? Maybe Emily wanted to pull away before but just didn't know how or maybe she realized that I would never be good enough for her.

As the thoughts raced through my mind I started to feel lightheaded, unsteady on my feet. The space at the edge of my vision began to blur and shake as the worries continued to increase.

I promised her I wouldn't leave her until everything with Garrett's trial was finished. I promised her I'd keep her safe, and that I'd do anything to protect her. I failed. I failed more than anyone in my position can fail. Instead of saving her, she had to save me. From a murderer, the man who murdered the only girl she'd ever truly loved. And in saving me she had taken the life of another human being – something I'm positive she will come to resent me for. Maybe she already did, maybe this was her leaving me. Maybe she never really cared about me, it would make sense seeing as she didn't spare a few moments to make sure I was ok before rushing to her friends. I was nothing to Emily but a liability, a problem to be solved, someone who always got in the way. As that last thought raced through my head over and over a weight settled in the pit of my stomach and I felt as though I was falling. I willed my eyes to focus despite the haze of fog that had settled over my vision and I was vaguely aware of Spencer's eyes widening almost comically as she pushed past the yellow tape and jogged toward me. She was waving frantically and I could see by the way her mouth was moving and the strain of the veins in her neck she was yelling at somebody, but I couldn't hear a thing.

The realization hit me like a truck as my knees hit the ground with a painful thud. Broken from my shock induced stupor as the gravel bit into my exposed knees, I lurched forward as intense waves of pain coursed through my body.

A minute ago nothing hurt, but it occurred to me briefly that I couldn't feel anything. My legs were moving on pure reflex and muscle memory, my vocal chords spit out words as automatically as you sing along to a song you've known forever. I was awake and moving, but not conscious, not really. The pain in my side seemed to be the worst, I grasped at it as my body bent forward. My palms were now firmly down on the ground, supporting the weight of my both as I knelt on all fours in the jagged gravel. I felt someone place a hand on the back of my shoulder and I turned my head slightly to see Spencer's concerned eyes for just a moment before the action made me retch and I felt the bile rise in my throat. Sound rushed back into my ears as I emptied the contents of my empty stomach between my hands. The sirens of the departing ambulance and police cars rang out shrilly, making me wince at the sound and sending a bolt of pain just behind my left eye. I could hear Spencer calling to the paramedics and the police that she needed help, that "she" was seriously hurt and needed somebody to come help right away.

My thoughts jumped to Emily automatically. There had been blood on her hands, but was she hurt? Did Nate get to her before she got to him? I looked up for a moment, fearing the nausea that came with the motion but willing to bear it to make sure Emily was ok. Emily was gone, along with Hanna and Aria. Many of the police cars had cleared out when the ambulance and the coroner's van had left for the hospital. A few straggling spectators, one empty patrol car, and Spencer were all that remained at the scene. I looked at Spencer for the briefest of moments before my stomach rebelled again and I retched forward and felt the wet, sticky bile splash over the back of my hand. Spencer's volume increased significantly as she yelled into the dissipating crowd and demanded someone cross the police tape to help her.

I was about to turn back and ask her what she needed help with when I noticed the dark splotch of red standing in sharp contrast to the pale skin of the back of my hand. I stared at my hand, feeling my vision begin to blur and the ground begin to spin. I lifted one hand from the gravel slowly, turning toward Spencer and lifting my head to meet her eyes. Her eyes bore into mine as her face quickly dissolved into black and I felt my body fall harshly into the sharp gravel below.

"Paige! Paige! Listen to me! You're going to be ok, I promise!" I heard Spencer shout as a commotion built nearby. "You! Help me! We have to get her to a hospital right now, call 911 and tell them we're taking her since the police don't know how to stick around long enough to do their fucking jobs!" I felt a pair of strong hands under my back and shoulders and another at my ankles. Suddenly I was being lifted and the pain I felt throughout my body intensified to a level I'd never imagined.


	2. Chapter 2: Unfeeling

Quick note: I just want to thank you all for the outpouring of support for this story. I am shocked and humbled by all the comments, follows, and favorites I've received in response to chapter one. I hope I can live up to your expectations. As always, let me know what you think.

Chapter 2: Unfeeling

My vision blurred and my eyes watered as I stared openly at my friends, holding back my tears while Hanna broke into hysterics beyond the yellow police line. Spencer and Aria both seemed focused on my hands, tinged red and ice cold. Hanna was looking beyond the police cars toward the lighthouse as her body slumped into Aria's arms. My hands shook and my skin felt tight where Nate's – no Lyndon's – blood dried and cracked between my fingers. I felt the panic start to build within my veins and I wrung my hands together, fingers rubbing strongly – almost painfully at one another as I tried to flake the caked on blood and peel it from my skin. The police officer to my left kept asking questions, repeating himself until a single word breached the surface of my daze. Deceased.

"Yes" I answered without thinking.

I didn't look at him, not directly, though I could see his frustration build in my periphery. From behind the officer I caught sight of the paramedics as they sped from the lighthouse toward the ambulance with Caleb. He was alive.

I heard the shot go off and felt him slump against me as the weight of him dragged our bodies to the narrow walk at the peak of the lighthouse. Without thinking I turned to Lyndon, his fingers weakly grasping a hand gun, and kicked my leg out as hard as I could. I felt my foot connect solidly with his hand and heard the gun clang to the metal floor. I clambered out from under Caleb's trembling body and grabbed the gun. I turned, pointed, and shot into Lyndon's chest, feeling the recoil of the shot like lightning through my bones before letting the gun fall from my hand and down the stairs. I stepped over Lyndon's unmoving form and back to Caleb. He was obviously in pain, but alive and moving. I reached my hand into his pocket and pulled out his cell, dialing 911 and waiting for the signal to connect. Just as the operator picked up I heard the sirens of the police cars approaching. I nodded to Caleb and he told me to go downstairs and find help. He'd be fine. I sent the paramedics upstairs but they wouldn't let me follow. Now I could see that he was alive and that Hanna needed me.

"Miss Fields" I heard the officer say, his indifferent voice once again penetrating my thoughts. I didn't care; Hanna needed me more than he needed answers.

"Was the deceased a friend of yours?"

I don't know how to answer that, so I don't. Nate had been a friend, but Lyndon, Lyndon was a killer, a murderer. He killed Maya and he was going to kill Paige. Paige. Oh God, where was Paige? I hadn't seen her brought out by the paramedics, so she must be ok. She had to be ok. This can't be happening again. I tried to focus, taking a deep breath willing myself to control the overwhelming anxiety forming within. As I forced my breathing to normalize I heard Paige's voice from a short distance away. I couldn't make out what she was saying, but her strong and certain tone let me know that she was alive and well enough to give a police statement. I heard a door slam behind me and my eyes flickered from the scene beyond the police tape, finding Paige's soft stare for a moment. Her eyes were wide and full of relief and worry, with deep dark circles underneath solidifying the hell she had been through over the past day. I wondered briefly if she had been hurt. What happened when Nate took her? Did he hit her, hurt her? How did he take her? Because the Paige she knew would never go without a fight. Paige's stance looked strong, her obviously exhaustion notwithstanding. The relief at seeing her unharmed and coping so well in the aftermath of what had happened gave me a moment's peace, and the flood of emotions that surged through me with that realization almost pushed me over the edge. I looked away, feeling the tears well in my eyes, and began to shift my weight between my feet. The soothing rocking motion I usually gained from the action wasn't calming this time, and I was about to push through the cops and run to Hanna.

I opened my mouth to speak, not sure of the words that came out. My view of Hanna was suddenly blocked and my eyes refocused on Paige's form, which had appeared a foot from mine. She stared into my eyes pointedly and ticked her head to the side quickly. She was telling me to go. She could see how much Hanna needed me and she was blocking the cops so I could go to her. Without another thought I dodged the officer asking questions and bolted to Hanna's sobbing form. I reached my arms out before I got to her and felt her pull me into her body across the police line. Her cries were loud in my ears and her tears soaked my shoulder and I just held her. I held her like she held me last year when I watched Maya's body get taken away in an ambulance. I held her like I was the only one who knew how she felt in that moment and she clung to me – pulling at my hair and my clothes and my body – because she knew I was the only one who truly understood.

As Hanna cried, I heard car ignitions and idling engines shift into gear as the police and ambulances began to pull away. I vaguely registered Aria shouting to the ambulance driver before the sirens turned on and the truck sped away, followed closely by several other vehicles. Aria tapped my shoulder gently and I felt my body jump at the sensation. She apologized and spoke softly as she explained that Caleb was being taken to the hospital and we needed to meet him there. In a daze, Hanna and I climbed into the backseat of Spencer's car to begin the long drive back to Rosewood.

"Em? You ok? Do you need anything?" I blinked slowly, feeling the ache as my eyelids closed over my dry eyes.

"Em? Can you hear me?" I opened my eyes once again to find Aria's wide doe eyes looking at me through the rear view mirror. I glanced down, feeling the weight of Hanna's body against my shoulder and the wetness of her tears soaking through my jacket before noticing that she was sound asleep.

"Em?" My gaze shot back up to the mirror. I'd forgotten we were in the car on the way to the hospital. It was a longer drive than I'd remembered on the way up earlier today. Then again I had no idea how long we'd been driving.

"Sorry, I spaced out I guess. Where are we?"

"Almost there. You ok? Are you hurt? Did they check you out back at the lighthouse?" I honestly couldn't remember. I shrugged slightly, noticing the worry in Aria's face at the motion. "Do you want to talk about what happened? Why your hands are like that?"

I glanced down at my fingers, just now noticing they were shaking forcefully in contrast to the overall stillness of my body. Everything felt numb. No pain, no pleasure, not even the sensation that my body was there. The only thing I could feel was the heaviness of Hanna's body on my shoulder and the overwhelming cold of my hands. I stared at them, feeling their icy movements as I slowly bent my fingers, watching them move as I willed them and wondering how they could still be mine when they didn't feel connected to my body. I closed my eyes and tried to will the feeling back into my limbs.

I felt the car come to a sharp halt and the weight lift of my shoulders. I was moving, quickly and silently, and lifted slightly onto a bed of vinyl and paper that crackled beneath my body. I opened my eyes to a bright light flashing and countless people flitting in and out of the white room. It felt like a dream and I reached a hand to my arm to pinch myself, but I couldn't feel the pain of the pinch. I looked down at my arm and watched my stained hand squeeze the skin between my fingertips, but still I registered no pain. In an instant, my ears were inundated with so many sounds I felt as though I'd just un-muted the soundtrack of the room around me. Loud beeping blared from the machines around me, multiple voices asked questions and shouted orders, someone outside the room was crying, and from down the hall I could hear Spencer's voice yelling at someone, though I couldn't make out what she was saying. I closed my eyes again hoping to slow the barrage of lights and sounds.

I registered a soft, caring voice to my right calling my name. I turned my head slightly to the side and opened one eye just enough to make out the source of the voice. My mother was sitting beside me softly calling to me and telling me that it would all be ok. I looked from her face to her hands, where she had my hands cradled in a small tub of hot water, washing away the blood stains with her warm maternal touch. Feeling began to return to my body as the cleaned the blood from my skin, washing the guilt from the lines in my hands and beneath my fingernails until I felt real again. My hands were my own; they were warm and clean and attached to the rest of me. She kissed my palms softly, one at a time, before standing and moving to the small sink in the corner of the room. She turned the tub of water on its side and poured dirty water down the drain. As I watched the last crimson drop fall from the tub, the panic I tampered down when I was talking to the police earlier came rushing back and I burst into body wracking sobs. I felt my mother climb onto the bed beside me and pull my body into hers. Her strong arms wrapped around me and her voice whispered to me softly, reassuring and calming me until I closed my eyes and relaxed into her embrace.


	3. Chapter 3: Panic

Quick Notes: Thank you all for your reviews/follows/favorites, I am extremely grateful and surprised by the response. I think I may have lost a few people with the shift in the POV, but rest assured things will clarify themselves in due time. Expect a very quick update for Chapter 4, and Chapter 5 following in the next few days. Thanks again for reading, you guys make my day.

Chapter 3: Panic

I woke with a start. The room around me was bright and loud, bustling with activity and overwhelming to my already overloaded senses. I took a deep, steadying breath and sat up slowly. My mom was still on the narrow cot with me, though my rude awakening had jolted her from rest as well. She looked at me with pity and caring, wordlessly letting me know she was still there – ready and waiting for me to break down again.

I swung my legs over the side of the small bed, shuddering as the thick blanket fell from my shoulders and my warm feet hit the cold tile floor. I felt the scratch of the paper gown against my skin and itched to rip it from my body before realizing I was in only my panties beneath the material. I stood slowly, the room spinning slightly for a moment before I grounded myself by staring intently at the dripping IV tube near the bed. I followed the line of the tube down and winced when I saw the needle piercing the skin on the back of my hand. I looked back to my mother, searching her face for answers and getting nothing. I opened my mouth to speak as Aria walked in the door.

"Oh God Em, you're awake! I can't tell you how great that is with everything else going on. How are you feeling? Do you need anything? Do you want to come out and see Hanna? We're sitting in the waiting room. We're not supposed to be back here to see you yet, they wanted to make sure you were calm and relaxed first, but I lied and said I had to pee 'cause I really needed to see with my own eyes that you were ok. You are ok, right?"

"Aria, calm down and stop talking. She just woke up and we have a lot to talk about." My mom cut into Aria's rant before it could go any further. Clearly there was a lot more going on than I was aware, and the thought of how bad things could be outside the walls of my room settled like a brick in the center of my chest. My heart began to pound, yet I couldn't catch my breath. My eyes darted around the room looking for an anchor, something to ground me and stop the panic from taking over. I needed Paige. She stopped my panic earlier with a simple glance. I needed to see her more than anything. I just had to catch my breath and defer my panic long enough to ask.

"Emily Fields. Look at me. I need you to focus on my voice, ok? I'm your mother and I need to take care of you, but I can't do that unless you listen to me." I followed the sound of her voice and was taken aback when I saw that she was standing directly in front of me, arms outstretched and hands on my shoulders. She was shaking me slightly, trying to coax me from my daze. I stared directly at her lips, focusing on their movement and trying to hear the words she said. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply as I extended my own arms to rest on the outside of my mom's elbows. I opened my eyes to see a slight smile on her lips. My focus shifted to the door as a young doctor rushed in with Aria in tow.

"How are you feeling, Miss Fields? Any better than before?"

"I don't know."

"You don't know? What do you remember from when we first brought you in?"

"Not much, really. I remember being in the car with Aria and Hanna, then waking up and my mom was washing my hands. Then I woke up again a few minutes ago."

"Well, it isn't unusual, so you shouldn't worry. Your body was, and likely still is, in shock from all that you've gone through tonight. The biggest issue we're having right now is keeping calm. You're body needs to rest, but your mind and the thoughts in it are causing pretty severe panic attacks. When you were brought in earlier we had to give you a mild sedative which calmed you enough to sleep for a few hours. Now all we need from you is to try and stay calm for a while until your body rests and begins to heal. Can you try and do that for me?"

"Of course, but why do I need to stay calm? What's going on that you're not telling me?" I looked away from the doctor to Aria and my mom. "Guys, what aren't you telling me? Is it Caleb? I saw them take him away in the ambulance, is he ok? You said Hanna was in the waiting room, right? Where's Spencer? I remember us driving her car here, but she wasn't with us. Is she ok? It can't be Paige, right? I mean, I saw her, she told me to go and comfort Hanna. Oh god what's happening…" My heart rate began to pick up at alarming speed and the beeping monitor near my head began to shriek. I heard the doctor speak once again through the building haze of panic.

"Miss Fields, this is exactly what I mean. You need to take a few deep breaths, close your eyes if necessary, and calm down. We can explain everything to you once you're calm again." I slumped back down on the edge of the bed and bent over resting my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. I closed my eyes tightly and took three deep breaths. I opened my eyes very slowly, focusing again on the needle in the back of my hand. After a few minutes of deep breaths I looked back to the three people watching me intently, silently pleading for answers.

The doctor looked at my mother and nodded softly before leaving the room. Aria approached me warily, giving me a tentative hug and squeezing very slightly before releasing me and walking backwards out the door after the doctor. My mom sighed sadly and moved a short, uncomfortable looking chair to the edge of my bed, sitting heavily and reaching for my unhindered hand. I looked at her with fear and uncertainty, knowing she had nothing but bad news to deliver. I willed my heart rate to stay steady and my tears to stay hidden as she began to speak lowly.

"When they first brought you in, you were completely out of it. I was here waiting for you. Aria called me from the car and said you'd been acting strangely. Do you remember her calling me?" I shook my head sadly, in slight disbelief that I'd been so lost in my own thoughts. "Just as you parked, Aria realized you weren't responding to anything anybody said. I tried shaking you out of your daze and so did the nurses, but you didn't react at all, so they brought you in and ran some tests. You started to shake and cry out – nothing intelligible – so they gave you a very mild sedative to help you rest while I cleaned you up and got you out of those clothes."

I looked down again at the paper gown, wrinkling my nose as I once again felt the rough scratch of the material against my chest. My mom noticed the look and reached into the drawer of the small nightstand by the bed, pulling out a pair of light blue scrubs and handing them to me. She walked to the door of the room, closing it silently and keeping her back turned so I could change in private. I appreciated the gesture, though I knew she'd seen my body when she changed me from my blood stained clothes. Once I was finished changing and back in bed, she turned and resumed her position in the chair.

"Caleb came in a few minutes before you. They took him straight into surgery. He was shot in the side of his stomach, sort of between his ribs and hip bone they said, and lost a lot of blood. After the surgery, the doctors told us that the bullet didn't hit any major organs or break any bones, so that's really great. He'll be in a good deal of pain for a little while and will need some pretty extensive recovery time, but he's going to be ok."

"That's great mom! Why is everyone so worried, then?"

"Emily, we really need to talk about Paige."


	4. Chapter 4: Body Language

Chapter 4: Body Language

The way her voice lowered and cracked slightly caused the panic to rise within me. What happened to Paige? She was fine when I last saw her, strong and steady, coming to my rescue and proving her devotion without words.

"M-mom?" I felt the tears start to fall on my cheeks, and the waver in my voice rang out through the room.

"She's still in surgery, Em. They're not sure exactly what happened, but from the looks of things she was beaten up pretty badly when Nate-

"Lyndon." I interrupted. "His name was Lyndon."

-Oh, right, I'm sorry. When Lyndon took her yesterday he roughed her up quite a bit. The doctor's said she put up one hell of a fight. Like you, her body was in a state of shock for a long while and she seemed not to feel much pain at all. Just after you all left to follow the ambulance to the hospital, she collapsed and Spencer brought her to the hospital." I let out a sharp cry. I left her there – alone – and she was hurting so badly. I should have protected her. She tries so hard to keep me safe and I left her when she needed me the most. I feel my body start to tremble as the stream of tears running down my face drips steadily onto my folded hands. "As far as we've been told so far, she has at least one broken rib and some pretty severe internal bleeding. The doctors suspected her spleen had ruptured, but we won't know for sure until she's out of surgery. She also has some pretty severe damage to her left hand and wrist" She added proudly "where she broke quite a few small bones hitting Lyndon in the face."

I let out a small chuckle despite my concern. "When will she be out of surgery?" I ask quietly.

"I'm not sure exactly, but if you want to gather your blanket and get comfortable in that wheelchair in the corner, we can join your friends in the waiting room." She stands quickly, brushing a kiss against the top of my head before disappearing out the door without another word. I raise my body from the bed one last time, taking small steps until I reach the wheelchair on the other side of the room. The IV stand pulls at the tube in my arm before I remember that it's attached to me, and I hiss at the sting of the needle moving within my vein. I pull the folded chair back toward the bed before I open it and settle down on the plastic seat. My warm feet come in contact with the cold foot rest and I shiver slightly, grabbing the thick blanket from the bed before standing again and wrapping my body in its warm cocoon. I sit back in the chair as the doctor returns with a smile. Without a word, she motions to my arm and I raise it slightly. She carefully, but quickly, removes the IV and pulse rate monitor from my finger. I lower my arms to the side of the wheel, propelling myself toward the door at a slow crawl. My mom speaks quietly with the doctor for a moment before grasping the handles on the back of the chair and moving us both to the waiting room at the end of the hallway.

Aria stands as we enter the small room, quickly followed by Spencer as the pair carefully assesses the damage to by body as I'm wheeled in by my mother. Hanna is sitting in between the two girls, staring intently at the door opposite the one I entered through. I shifted my gaze between my three best friends, taking in their stances and trying to read their emotions the way we've been able to since we were all kids together.

Hanna is in pain. Her features are stoic and carry a false air of strength and confidence, but her posture betrays her and reveals the turmoil playing out behind her eyes. She is fixated on the swinging doors I presume lead to the operation and recovery rooms where we'll eventually get to see our other halves. She hiccups intermittently, letting the action jolt her body without any indication she's even aware they're happening.

Aria is as wide eyed as I've ever seen her. She looks back at me with relief and love, but her mannerisms reveal the worry slowly seeping from her control and into the room. She paces subtly – moving a small step toward me, then Hanna, and back in front of her chair – repeating the action unconsciously while her torso gently rocks back and forth on her hips. Her arms are crossed tightly over her chest, though the action makes her seem smaller, not defensive. She finally settles on a small but genuine smile in my direction before lowering back down into her chair and looking to Spencer on her left.

I can't look into Spencer's eyes because my focus is automatically drawn to the red streak across the arm and chest of her white undershirt. The stains look faint but definitely deep, as though the source of the red liquid had lain upon the fabric for a long while before contact was broken. I notice the small smudges on the backs of her hands – they looked so much like my own just a short while ago – and I gasp, pulling myself out of my stare just long enough to let my eyes find Spencer's.

As Spencer moves to swallow me in an unexpected hug, Hanna finally meets my gaze and tears begin to leak from her eyes and down her cheeks. I feel Spencer's fingers brush my face softly and I see her hands as she pulls them away. They're wet, I'm crying, and they're rusty with dried blood. Paige's blood? I open my mouth to ask and no words come out. With an apologetic glance, Spencer takes my mom's position at the back of the chair and wheels me toward Hanna. The now sobbing blonde falls to her knees before me and throws her upper body across my lap. I stroke her hair gently until she finally looks up at me with a teary smile.

Spencer fills us in on what's happening as we sit patiently waiting on any new information. Caleb is out of surgery and doing well, all things considered. He hasn't woken up yet because the doctors are keeping him sedated for a little while to help his recovery. Hanna is relieved, but won't really believe he's alright until she sees it with her own eyes. Paige's surgery has been a lot slower and they haven't gotten any information on its progress yet. I felt my eyes begin to well up once again and felt my best friends all reach out to comfort me. Spencer wraps her arm around my shoulders as both Hanna and Aria grasp my hands.

An older man with mostly white hair emerges from behind the swinging doors on the other side of the room. He walked slowly and surely, calculating each step as surely as he practiced his words. "Family of Paige McCullers?" he calls out over the small room, making direct eye contact with me as if he knew who I was already.

"Yes, that's us." My mom answers him surely, as if to convince him that our rag-tag group was truly related to her.

"She's out of surgery. She was pretty banged up, but we got everything under control. She should be just fine in a couple of months with some physical therapy and a lot of support." We all nod eagerly, assuring the man that we'll protect her with everything we have. "We had to remove her spleen. She does have three broken ribs – one is pretty severe and the others are little more than fractures – but they'll heal up nicely with proper rest. The biggest concern long term is going to be her hand. The bones around her knuckles were pretty severely broken and reconstructed with pins. It's going to take a lot of rehab to get back to full function. Otherwise, she should make a full recovery. You can go back and see her in a little while when she wakes up."

I let out a sigh of relief. Things won't be great for her in the upcoming weeks, but at least she's going to be ok. I make a promise to myself, a promise I'll repeat to her as soon as I see her, that I will be right by her side every step of the way. My heart starts to pound at the thought of her. I need her more than I've ever needed anyone in my life. I need to see her, to touch her, to know that she's alive and real and mine. I need to make sure she knows how much I care about her, how much I worry and how badly I need to protect her after everything she's done for me. I love her, and I never got to tell her.

As the doctor started to back away toward the swinging doors, I call out to him across the room.

"I need to see her. Can I see her? I need to make sure she doesn't wake up alone. I left her back there, and I need to make sure she knows I'll never leave her again. Please, can I go to her?"

"Are you Miss Fields?"

I jolt with suspicion when I hear my name fall from this stranger's lips. Who is this man and how does he know who I am? The doctor's eyes narrow into a slight glare, confusing me and worrying me with uncertainty.

"I am. Emily. Please, can I wait for her?"

"You'll need to be accompanied, you seem to be a bit worse for the wear yourself and someone will need to join you – just as a precaution."

Before I could turn to ask my mom, Spencer's voice cracked over the quiet space. "I want to. See her I mean. She'll need all the help she can get, right?"

The doctor's glare softens as he turns to Spencer. "You girls get moving. I have places to be."

He pauses for a moment before smiling lightly and giving a small, curt nod. I look back at my friends and my mom before grasping Spencer's hand and pulling her toward me. She leans down and gives me a sad but sure smile, kissing the top of my head before grabbing pushing the wheelchair slowly toward the swinging doors.


	5. Chapter 5: Scars and Stories

Quick Note: Thank you all again for the continued reviews and support. You guys definitely make writing this story worth the effort. Chapter 6 will probably be up in a few days. But who knows, maybe I'll get a burst of inspiring energy and post before I go away for the weekend. Thanks again, and keep letting me know what you think.

p.s – Special thanks to "girltogirl" for your reviews. I'm glad to see you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope to continue seeing your name pop up on the review board.

Chapter 5: Scars and Stories

I'm under water. I open my eyes and see bright fluorescent lights through a liquid filter and I wonder how I got here. I don't remember changing or driving to the school aquatic center, but I can feel the familiar sting of chlorine in my eyes and hear the distorted rumbling of sounds under water. I can hear people talking, not yelling or cheering like most days in the pool, and it starts to worry me. If I'm in the pool, where is Emily? We've been training together every day. Every time I open my eyes in the pool I see her lithe form shooting through the water before me, but I don't see her now. I close my eyes again and experimentally inhale deeply. I expect the burning pressure in my chest from breathing in the water, but the pain doesn't come. I realize once again that I feel nothing. No pain, no pleasure. Nothing at all.

A slow panic starts to build within me. The last thing I remember is feeling nothing, and then feeling everything all at once. My body was set on fire – dismantled piece by piece – until there was nothing left but blackness and pain. What the hell happened to me? Where am I? Why does everything feel so hazy and fluid? I blink again, slowly then fast, trying to shake the glaze from my eyes and focus on the space around me. The fog is stubborn and refuses to lift, so I bring my hand to my face and rub at it like a child. I wipe away the sleep from my eyes and hold my hand just inches from my face.

White tape, silver needle, clear tube. The hospital. I'm in the hospital. I inhale deeply, taking in the scent of antiseptic and cleaning products – so close to the smell of chlorine it actually makes me feel at home. I must be hurt. I don't remember being sick, but I remember pain. I wonder.

I lift my right hand again and focus. Aside from the needle penetrating my skin, it appears unharmed. I focus on my left hand, willing it to move so I can look at it closely, examine it for damage. It feels unusually heavy and stiff. I wiggle my fingers, relieved when they move on command, and feel the rough scratch of material beneath my fingertips. With my right hand I slowly trace the outline of a large and bulky cast running from just beneath the pads of my fingers to the crook of my elbow. I feel the panic build again and take a quick stock of the rest of my body. My fingers and toes all wiggle when I tell them to, my calves and biceps flex – weakly, but better than nothing. My shoulders shrug and my head nods and shakes. I shift my weight backward in the narrow bed and try to sit up slightly. There is a weight on my torso that is heavier than the weight on my arm, it worries me.

I tilt my head up off the pillow and look down to find a mass of dark silky hair splayed over my hip, and a gentle hand lying flat on the plane of my stomach. My body is covered by a thin hospital gown and I can feel the heat of the hand through the fabric. I focus intently on that hand, zooming in on its long, slender fingers. They look strong and feminine and as I move my eyes over the back of the hand I see a faint scar and relax back into my bed. Emily. She came back for me.

* * *

_Hey Em, what's this one?_

_ Which one? What are you talking about?_

We're laying on Emily's bed while she works diligently on her English homework. One of her arms hovers in the air above her head, book firmly in hand. The other hand is lying flat on mine, palms touching intimately, as I examine every line and freckle.

_This scar right here_. I say, tracing it with my index finger. _This one is more pronounced than the others. What happened?_

_Alison's evil dog happened._ She put down her book on top of her face and laughed out loud.

_Ok, elaborate_. I urged her on.

She lifted the book and placed it in the space between our bodies_. Ali had this dog. It was gigantic and really mean. It was a blonde lab, but I swear it weighed 200 pounds and was totally out to get me. I was walking through her house one day, going to meet the rest of the girls in her room after swim practice and I guess I looked at him wrong or something. He was lying on the floor and when I walked by him, he reached out and bit me. Really hard. His teeth went about ¾ of the way through my hand. I had to go to the hospital and they took x-rays and cleaned it and I had to get shots – _

I laughed at her having to get shots. _Did they test you for rabies?_ I chuckled to myself.

She lightly slapped my shoulder. _I did not get rabies, thank you. I got shots and my hand swelled up like an inflated rubber glove and I missed like two weeks of swim practice. I'm surprised you don't remember._

_That's why you missed all that time freshman year? Everyone thought you had mono_. I add without really thinking.

_MONO!_ She shouted indignantly. _I can't believe everyone thought I had the kissing disease! That is ridiculous! I'm going to have to clear that one up tomorrow at practice I guess_. She looks at me with a determined glint in her eye. _What about you, did you ever have mono?_

I look away for a second before answering, knowing I'd have to tread lightly and explain quickly before she jumped to any conclusions_. I had mono in the middle of eighth grade, but I swear it wasn't from kissing! I got it from sharing drinks with a friend of mine who got it from kissing_. I laugh at the ridiculousness of the statement_. She sort of got around, I mean, as much as an eighth grader gets around. I never really thought twice about it until I started feeling really sick and we both ended up sleeping it off in the nurse's office waiting for our parents to pick us up. It sucked a lot, I don't recommend it. _

_Well, I don't know. I guess if I got it from kissing someone I really wanted to kiss, it couldn't be that bad, right?_ She looked deeply into my eyes and smiled suggestively. Before I knew it I was being pulled to her by the fabric of my shirt, our eyes meeting in a flash before closing tightly in anticipation of the kiss. Our lips met tenderly, parting lightly at first and building in intensity until we were sharing deep caresses and playful nips. Our mouths moved intimately against one another, familiarizing and exploring gently. I felt Emily bite the corner of my bottom lip and softly tug at it before sliding her tongue sensuously over the affected area. As she poised to repeat the action a second time, I opened my mouth a little wider and flicked the tip of my tongue over hers. I felt her gasp and shudder before pulling away just enough to look into my eyes. I met her gaze and felt the fire in her stare. She nodded, the movement so slight it almost didn't happen, and I pulled her back into my body, reclaiming her lips with my own. Our mouths fused together with fervor and our lips, teeth, and tongues danced sensuously together. She rolled our bodies slightly until she was laying half on top of me, running her hands over my cheek and neck as our kisses intensified to a level we'd never felt before. I pressed my palms into her upper back and ran my fingertips over the strong muscles around her shoulder blades. She arched her body into mine and we both moaned lightly at the new contact_. I could definitely get used to this_; I remember thinking, just before she deepened our kiss even more and pressed her body even more firmly against my own.

* * *

"Paige? Are you awake? Should I get the doctor?"

My gaze snaps up from my lap and I look cautiously around the room. Aside from the buzzing fluorescent lamp above my head, the room is cast in shadows and I can't make out any other figure in the space. My heart rate picks up beyond my control. I know Nate is dead, but the idea that someone is sitting so close and watching me and Emily while I'm unaware of their presence is really starting to freak me out. I have to be strong this time, I remind myself, I have to make sure Emily is safe and nobody will be able to get to her again.

"Who's there? Tell me right now. Show yourself before I call the cops." I demand in my harshest and most confident tone of voice, which comes out as little more than a hoarse whisper, thick with sleep and anesthesia. Fuck me, I'll never be able to keep her safe sounding like I do right now. I'm completely non-threatening and I can't even take myself seriously sounding so much like a scared little kid. I take a deep breath and pool my strength, recalling the confrontation I had with Spencer in the hall the other day. Nobody threatens my Emily and gets away with it.

"I'm serious, get out of the shadows like a coward and show me who you are. I may look weak but I can still make your life a living hell." This time my voice comes out strong and confident, with only a little more rasp than usual. I can do this, I can be strong, and I can keep her safe. The mantra begins to play on repeat in my head.

"Paige? Are you ok? Let me go get someone." I looked up toward the sound of the quiet voice, not sure where to find its source in the darkness beyond my bed. Now that the response is a bit louder, I can almost recognize its owner. "Hang on, the nurse is just down the hall." The tone is rich and deep, with a husk and inflection unlike anyone else I've ever met. Spencer stands from a chair in the corner and begins to walk to the door. As she passes in front of the foot of my bed, I shake off my nervousness from a minute ago and speak.

"No, stay, please."


	6. Chapter 6: Stick Around

Quick Note: Thanks for staying with the story and reviewing. The Paily storyline definitely picks up after this and things get very in interesting in several different ways. I'm having a blast writing this story and I'm sincerely humbled by all the positive response I've gotten so far. I hope to hear from all of you again soon!

Chapter 6: Stick Around

"No, stay, please."

Spencer moved steadily from the foot of the bed to my left side, her eyes glancing over my face and the monitors nearby, silently assessing my condition. After a moment, satisfied that I was not in need of urgent medical attention, she spoke in response to my plea.

"I should really go find the doctor. The only thing he asked us to do in return for letting us stay here with you was to let him know immediately if anything changed with your condition. I'll be right back, I swear."

"Spencer, please. Just tell me what happened. I need to know how all of this happened. Is she ok?" I reach my good hand down and thread my fingers through Emily's dark tresses. I see Spencer's form shift as she moves back toward the foot of the bed. She can't leave, I need answers. I thrust my right arm out sharply, catching Spencer just above the elbow. As my uninjured hand makes contact with her cold skin, I feel an unimaginable stab of pain shoot through my chest and I cry out before I can think to stop myself. This again; I think to myself. So much hurt and pain, like before. What happens next? I don't even know what happened the last time. A wave of nausea sweeps through my body, causing me to shudder and retch. The dry heave only causes more steely pain to settle on my chest and my heart rate shoots up beyond my control.

"Paige! Oh god, not again! Paige, please, um. Focus for just a sec, ok? I can't imagine how much that hurts, I've never had broken ribs before. I need you to calm down and I'll tell you what happened, I just can't handle seeing this happen again. I really should go get the doctor." Her words sink in with just enough time for me to call out once again before she leaves the room.

"Spencer! I'm fine, I'm ok, see? Uh, please, I know it looks bad but it isn't really. Please tell me how I got here. Is Emily ok? I heard you calling for help back at the lighthouse. Was she hurt? Why is she in that wheelchair?" I sputter out all the words in the front of my mind without rhyme or reason. Spencer freezes near the door and turns swiftly on her heels before making her way back to the bedside. She stands tall behind the wheelchair and gently strokes Emily's hair, her fingers brushing slightly against my own.

"Hey, calm down a bit, ok? Emily is fine, I swear it. She's had a rough night, not like yours of course, but it's been really tough on her to see you like this. After Hanna and Aria brought her in earlier she started having panic attacks about what happened with Nate, and then about what happened with you. She was – still is a wreck. A little while ago your heart rate monitor started going off a little erratically. The doctor told us it was probably just because the anesthesia was wearing off, but she started to freak again and they gave her a sedative to calm her down and help her sleep while you woke up." I look down at Emily again, one hand gripping the edge of my blanket beneath her head, the other splayed over my stomach. Her eyes flutter beneath her lids and her breath is steady and calm, released through lightly parted lips. She looks exhausted and worn down, and in great need of a long shower – but she is breathtaking. I retract my hand from her hair and place it over her hand resting on my stomach. I can feel the softness of her skin and the warm gust of her breath as she inhales and exhales in a steady rhythm. I turn her hand and intertwine our fingers, immediately feeling Emily grip my hand tightly before bringing our joined fingers to her mouth for a sleepy kiss. I smile down at her, expecting her eyes to open and meet mine.

"I doubt she'll wake up any time soon. She took some pretty potent medicine and the doctor said she'd probably be out till morning." Reluctantly, I draw my eyes away from Emily's perfect form and look back to spencer. Her eyebrows are knit in concern and I can tell she wants to run from the room. Now that I'm awake she no longer feels obligated to be here. I know she doesn't care for me much, and now that Emily s back around she has no reason to stay. I turn to her and give her what I hope is a look conveying thanks and understanding.

"Thanks for all your help, Spencer. I'm not really sure what happened, but I remember you trying to help – and since you're here with Emily, I know you've been looking after her too. I get that you don't really like me too much, and you didn't do it for me, but I really appreciate you making sure Emily was ok. I don't know what I'd do if anything ever happened to her. I promised-"

"Paige. Just relax; we can talk about all of that stuff later on, alright? I'm here for you, I swear. I have a lot to make up for and even more to apologize for, but for right now let's just leave it at that. I'll answer whatever questions I can and I promise I'm not leaving unless you ask me to." I let out a long breath I didn't know I was holding. "Before we get into the Q&A portion of the night, can I get you anything? Water?"

"Water'd be great." She hands me a small yellowed cup from the table by the bed. The water is room temperature and tastes slightly metallic, but it feels wonderful gliding down my sore throat. I finish the cup and hand it back to her. "Can I ask you for one more thing? It might be sort of weird and you can definitely say no if you want – I mean, I don't want to make you uncomfortable or any-"

"Just ask, and I'll do what I can." Spencer broke off my rant with a steady tone.

I look her in the eye before very gently and slowly sliding my body as far to one side of the bed as I can manage. I wince at the pressure and pain in my torso. I notice the heft and hardness of the cast on my left arm as it hinders my movement. The blanket covering my lower half-slips from the bed to the floor, exposing my pale legs and displaying nasty looking bruises, deep purple and black – yellowed around the edges. Spencer's eyes drop down instinctively and flick quickly back to mine as she notices the bruising. She takes in my new position on the bed and a look of realization befalls her features. Without a word, she extricates Emily's upper half from my bed and leans her back in the wheelchair. She approaches the bed, bending down and reaching her arm under the lip of the mattress. I feel the bed shift downward before coming to an abrupt halt. Spencer leans over Emily's sleeping form, placing one arm under her bent knees and one arm on the back of her shoulders. With quite some effort, she gingerly lifts Emily from the seat before kicking the wheelchair off to the side and laying her down softly on the edge of my bed. She guides Emily further onto the mattress and closer to the uninjured side of my body. Emily, upon feeling the shift in her position, reaches out her hand and finds my waist. With Spencer's help and careful guidance, Emily snuggles into my side –resting her head the inside of my right shoulder, her hand back on my stomach, and her right leg ever so slightly draped over mine. I feel my body calm and relax at the feel of Emily so close. She's safe. She's alive. She didn't leave me.

Spencer retrieves the blanket from the floor and drapes it over our prone figures. Walking toward the small cot beside the bed on the other side, she picks up another blanket and her purse before retrieving the wheelchair and settling beside me. She places her hand atop the bulky cast on my left arm.

"I'm so sorry Paige. I'm so sorry this happened to you."

I feel the sting of tears forming in the corners of my eyes, but I blink them back. I'm strong. I have to be strong this time.

I take deep breaths- despite the ache in my chest- and ask what happened to us.

Spencer launches into a story straight out of a horror film. I was kidnapped and beaten up. I fought back hard enough to hurt myself, but not hard enough to get away. Emily got caught in the trap set by my kidnapper and escaped – drawing him out into the night and away from me – leaving me tied up in the cabin. Spencer's tears started to flow silently.

"Emily told me how she left you in there. She was so upset and angry with herself for leaving, but she knew he'd follow her out and you'd be safe. She's brave, you know? Probably one of the bravest people I've ever met – but I think she's broken. I think he broke her." I nod. I know she's brave and she is probably the only reason I'm still alive. I remember looking pleadingly into her eyes, duct tape pulling at the skin of my cheeks, rough rope digging into my wrists. I needed to convey that I loved her and she needed to run. I thought she got the message because she flashed a confident gaze before bolting out the door, phone in hand. She felt guilty though. She thought I'd blame her for leaving? That I thought she'd left me there to die? I need her so badly to be awake, so we can clear the air and I can make sure she knows that I trust her with my life. I trust her with my everything.

I pull her sleeping form as close to me as I can and I feel her begin to relax into my body. She nuzzles her nose into my neck and I shiver when her breath washes over my skin. Her hand flexes over my stomach, running her fingers back and forth as though checking to make sure I'm still here. I run my hand over her lower back, gently raising the edge of her shirt and slipping my fingers along the exposed skin I find there. I need to feel her warmth. I need to feel the goose bumps raise over her skin as it's met with the cool air. I need her and I need to let her know how much I need her. As I continue to stroke her back and lean into her embrace, I feel the dark of sleep approaching again quickly.

"Sleep, Paige. We'll be here when you wake up." Spencer shifts in the chair, resting her hand over my cast bound fingers.

I burrow my nose into Emily's hair and grip her tighter. I can't let her go again. I need to keep her safe. We're safe now and nothing can touch her again as long as we're together. I close my eyes and feel the weight of her limbs heavy over mine. She lets out a deep breath and murmurs in her sleep.

"Rest, love. R'safe. Promise."


	7. Chapter 7: In Dreams

Quick Note: Thanks for all the continued support and reviews. They make my day. I'm grateful to read that you think I'm giving adequate voices to these characters and I'm so happy to hear that you're frustrated and pleased at the pacing of the story.

One of my favorite reviews thus far lets me know that this story has just the right amount of grrrr, nooo and awww. Thanks Brokendreams24, I think that is the most eloquent assessment of this story I've ever heard.

Chapter 7: In Dreams

I rest my head against my breathing pillow and nuzzle further into soft hair that smells strongly of chlorine. In my state of half awareness, I smile at the memory of last night – remembering sweet kisses and hesitant caresses; cool water and warm summer air. Emily. I can't believe she came to me like this. It's like a dream, but for once I know it's all real. It's all happening. I feel her chest moving beneath my ear and the warmth of her arms wrapped around my shoulders and waist. She surrounds me and for the first time it isn't an illusion. She'll still be here when I turn around. She isn't going anywhere.

Emily walked along the pool deck with purpose. I gaped slightly and blurted an apology, ignoring her assurances that our last kiss – our drug induced dream of a kiss – wasn't my fault. I tried my best to apologize for the entire occurrence, but I didn't regret it. I couldn't. Emily was there and she wanted me, or wanted to pretend I was someone else. I wanted her so badly it didn't matter at the time, but I hurt her. I took advantage when she needed to be kept safe, but I can't bring myself to ignore how right it had felt to kiss her – to taste her again after so long. I felt rage build within me as I thought of someone drugging her. I wanted to hunt them down, to hurt them, to make sure they could never lay a hand on my girl again. Only she wasn't my girl, only in my wildest dreams.

Emily talked me down from my anger, slowly explaining that what happened that night was an accident. She was drunk and drugged, obviously beyond rational thought, but maybe that was the point. She'd been caught up with life, thinking too much about what was proper and right, that she missed a flashbulb right in front of her. She may not have consciously known that she wanted to be with me, but when all falsities and barriers were stripped away she found herself on my doorstep, waiting for me to let her in again. I couldn't believe my ears and felt them blush and heat with bashfulness. I looked at my feet, trying to comprehend the words she was saying, but her hand upon my neck drew my attention back to her face. She was looking at me with such intensity – such passion – and in that moment it all came together. She wanted me.

Emily Fields wanted **me**. The ridiculous girl who lets her emotions get the better of her and fucks everything up. The coward who was so afraid to be free that she let this goddess slip away. The girl whose entire life for the past year revolved around making sure she was good enough for Emily Fields. I smiled widely. Maybe, just maybe, all that work paid off and she knows that I'll do anything for her. I can be her everything and I can keep her safe, and loved, and happy.

She pulled me toward her and our lips connected with a fiery familiarity. We'd never kissed with such intensity before and the touch electrified my entire body. I could feel it in the way she brought us together, hands roaming over arms and shoulders, from neck to cheek and back again. This was right. This was the way it always should have been, the way it always should be. I let myself get lost in her soft lips, chasing back into the kiss any time I felt her start to pull away. I kissed her hard and deep, pouring my want for her into every ounce of my being, hoping to convey the depth of my emotion for her with this one brilliant kiss. Finally, as the need for oxygen took over, we pulled apart just enough to breathe. Our foreheads rested together and our arms wrapped tightly around each other's bodies, holding firm and solidifying our need for one another without words. We stood like this for what seemed like forever, reveling in the security of each other's arms. Eventually I felt her shift from my arms and heard her take off her jacket and drape it over the chair at arm's length. My eyes were still closed firmly and I could see flickers of blue light reflecting off the surface of the pool through my eyelids. As I began to open them, Emily pulled me back into another forceful kiss. She ran her fingers through my hair, releasing my ponytail and raking her short nails over my scalp. I shuddered at the contact and leaned further into her body. I felt her warm tongue sweep slowly over my bottom lip, startling me and shaking me from my kiss induced daze. I opened my mouth and pulled her body to mine as tightly as I could manage. Her tongue grazed my lip yet again, sending my body into frenzy. On the third swipe of her tongue, as I tried unsuccessfully to draw her into my body even more, I lost my balance – tripping over our combined feet. The force of my clumsiness sent us both falling into the cool water with a loud splash.

As Emily surfaced, she began to laugh uncontrollably. I was dumbfounded at first, shocked from our intimate moment from the harsh crash into the pool. I looked to Emily's face and saw only pure joy, an expression that had been lacking from her features in recent memory. I began to giggle along with her; her hearty laughter rang out like music to my ears. I approached her quickly, drawing her in for a quick kiss before launching myself toward the other end of the pool. She followed right behind, understanding my intent to slow things down just enough to re-learn each other. We swam for hours, pausing between laps to kiss and talk. We were both cautious to not let things get too heavy before we were ready.

By nights end we had exhausted ourselves, playfully challenging each other in the pool and sorting out the basics of our newly sparked relationship. We were together. We were out. We were exclusive. And we were both happier than we'd been in a very long while.

Upon seeing the late hour as we dried off, I invited Emily to stay over. With a quick clarification to make sure Emily knew I didn't expect anything, she kissed me softly and grabbed my hand, pulling me toward the house. I planted my feet and she looked back curiously when I did not follow her. Instead, I turned around and walked in the opposite direction toward the pool house at the other end of the yard. I opened the French doors leading in from the pool deck and a flash of recognition crossed her features.

"You live in the pool house?" I nodded, not wanting to explain everything right now. I kept our hands joined and led her to the bedroom. I pulled out sweatpants and tank tops for us both before directing Emily to the bathroom to change. When she returned, we climbed in my queen sized bed and settled in facing each other, making sure to keep a respectable distance between our bodies. Our hands found each other in the space between us and we both drifted to sleep quickly.

I awoke to find that we had drifted into one another as we slept. My head rested heavily on Emily's shoulder, and her arms wrapped around my body. I was surrounded by Emily and I felt an overwhelming sense of love and contentment shooting through every nerve ending in my body. I knew it was too soon to declare my love for her, but I knew that soon I'd spill my heart to Emily and make sure she knew how deeply I felt for her. I pledged in that moment of waking to protect and love Emily Fields with everything I have.

As though waking from a dream within a dream, the edges of my vision begin to shift for a second time. Though the physical sensations I'm feeling stay the same, the image changes dramatically and I am temporarily unaware of where I am. I am not curled up with Emily in my bed at home. She does not smell like chlorine, cool mint, and lavender. The sounds I hear beyond her breath are not of leaves rustling in the wind and crickets chirping loudly in the early morning. My senses are overwhelmed by blunt forces. I smell antiseptic and bleach. I hear the beeping and humming of machines and people talking in hushed tones. But I still feel Emily. I feel safe and loved and protected in a way only Emily can provide.

Then it hits me. The hospital. I'm in the hospital. Everything with Nate and Emily and the lighthouse cabin was real and we're still here, working things through. I shift in my bed and a dull ache spreads over my entire body. I feel the strong arms around me shift position to allow me to move, but remain firmly holding me as I reposition my body. With my eyes still closed I try to focus on Emily and the way she's comforting me just by being here with me. Emily's arm is holding me to her chest as I rest my head against her. My body is on its side, uninjured hand curled up against my chest as my cast-laden arm rests across Emily's lower stomach. My weight rests on my right side, avoiding putting too much pressure on the injuries which are largely confined to my left. I feel Emily run her fingers through my hair before planting a kiss on my head. At the touch of her lips I open my eyes slowly and find her beautiful brown eyes staring right back into mine. I hold her gaze for as long as I can, but the brightness of the room causes me to squint and bury my face into Emily's chest again. I feel the rumble of her voice in her chest as she asks someone to close the blinds on the windows. I hear the rattle of the aluminum blinds clatter and sense the darkening of the room. I look up in time to catch a small smile from Spencer as she exits the room, closing the door behind her.

My gaze shifts back to Emily's face. I take in her soft expression, noticing the small cut on her bottom lip and the slight bruising on her cheek bone. Her warm hand moves up my arm to cup my cheek as she stares at me in awe, searching my eyes for any sign of hurt or pain, but finding none. After a minute or so I notice Emily's eyes have begun to water, and I stare helplessly as large, wet tears make their way down her cheek and chin before splashing onto her shirt. Am I hurting her? Oh god, I need to move, I'm hurting her. I shift my body again and start to pull away, but she grips me tightly and pulls me closer than before.

I'm worried and afraid. I'm unsure of what's happening and I need to comfort Emily, find out why she's crying like this. Did I do something? How could I, I've been asleep? I'm so confused and I look back up into Emily's crying eyes. She's wearing the warmest expression I've ever seen, and her tears are falling through glistening, smiling eyes. She pulls me tightly to her and dips her head down, kissing me gently but fiercely. Her words are clear and sharp as she pulls away.

"Paige. Oh my god, darling, I thought I lost you. I thought when I woke up and you weren't there that I'd lost you forever. And then my mom – and Spence had your blood on her clothes – your blood! And I've never been happier to see that confused look on your face in all my life." She's kissing me all over my face and head, arms pulsing around me – pulling me to her and pushing me back to look over my body, then back again. "Paige. I need you to listen to me for just a minute, ok? Just for a minute. Just hear me out." I nod gently, concern building once more. What kind of news am I waking up to this time? Is everyone else ok? I haven't really heard about Caleb or the girls. Is she upset with me about Nate? I knew she'd probably grow to resent me for all of that, but I never thought it'd be so soon. As my mind begins to play ever worsening scenarios, Emily begins to speak softly.

"I thought I lost you. I'm so sorry for everything- for leaving you in the cabin, for not seeing how hurt you were, and mostly for leaving your side when you needed me most. I swear to you that I will be everything you need me to be and more. I'll never let you hurt like that, or get hurt like that ever again. I hope you can trust me when I say that you are my biggest priority and I'd be lost without you. I love you, Paige, and I can't imagine my life without you. I'm not letting you go. I'm not leaving you ever again."

I stiffen in the bed, half on top of Emily. "What did you say?"

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me. I love you."

"You love me?" I ask, baffled by her unexpected confession.

"Yes. I love you." She leans down and kisses my lips with reverence. "I love you, I love you, I love you…" She punctuates each declaration with a kiss.


	8. Chapter 8: Not Hard To Fall

Quick Notes: Thank you all for continuing to read this story. I think I'm falling in love with this pairing more each day and I'm grateful to share that with you. I really appreciate all the reviews and follows and I hope to continue meeting your expectations. The next 8-10 chapters are already outlined and I hope to post them within the next two weeks. Again, thank you for coming back!

Chapter 8 – Not Hard To Fall

Her skin is so warm, so soft. As she shifts her position slightly I can't help but let myself relax for the first time in days. I look down to see her hand grip tighter at my hip. Her lips are moving slightly against my neck, mumbling in her fitful sleep. She's dreaming. I wonder what's happening in that pretty little head of hers. Is she dreaming about Lyndon? The closet? God, it must have been so horrible for her. She was all alone, locked up in the dark for god knows how long. Oh, how long was she gone? I saw her the day before yesterday when she came to my house. Everything seemed so calm, so normal. She told me she needed to take care of some family business while I went out of town for the beginning of the trial. Was that a lie? Did she lie to me? It doesn't really matter; she's here with me now.

Spencer told me Paige got a text from A telling her to meet at the cemetery and Lyndon grabbed her while she was on her way. Did Lyndon text her as A? How would he even know about A? That doesn't matter now, not really, but Lyndon almost killed her to get to me. How could I let that happen to her? Why do horrible things happen to the people I love? It was bad enough to lose Alison and – oh god Maya. I never thought I'd ever be ok after everything with Maya. But Paige – she saved me from myself I think. She let me grieve, she was always with me – even when we were apart – I always knew I'd be ok because of her. She makes me feel more loved than I've ever felt in my life. I have to make sure she knows how much I need her. I'll keep her safe if it's the last thing I do. I hope she still wants to be with me after all of this. Spencer told me about her waking up and asking about me – about how she asked Spencer to put me in her bed – and about how she seemed to relax and finally fall into a peaceful sleep with me by her side. Maybe I can fix this.

Paige. She's here with me – safe in my arms. I didn't lose her. And I'm not going to.

She mutters against my skin again – something that sounds vaguely like "swimming" and then she kisses my neck in her sleep. I lift my hand and slowly thread it through Paige's messy hair, pushing it out of her face and behind her ear. I look down to see the beginning of wakefulness flash over her features – eyes fluttering behind closed lids, lips shuddering, nose twitching. I feel my lips pull up into a relieved smile as I place a kiss on the top of her head. Her eyes open for a long moment – stunning, but exhausted, chocolate brown pools melt into my stare until the brightness of the light forces them closed once again.

I need her to open them again. I need those anchors more than I need oxygen at this moment.

I see another figure move in my periphery and my eyes meet Spencer's from across the room. I ask her quietly – as though not to disturb the girl resting on my chest – to close the blinds so Paige will open her eyes again. She gives me a reassuring smile with a slight smirk in her eyes before she gets up from her perch on the small cot and makes her way to the window. She fights a little with the aluminum blinds before they close, shrouding the room in shadows. She then makes her way to the door, mumbling something about telling the others and getting the doctor. As she turns the doorknob to leave her eyes flick down to the girl waking in my arms. She smiles again before turning and walking into the hall.

I look down to see Paige's eyes blinking open again, squinting at first as they adjust to the dim light of the room. I feel myself gasp in relief as she holds my stare, eyes unblinking. The relief and love I feel right now is so overwhelming, so overcoming that I can't help the tears that build and slowly trickle down my cheeks. I need to feel her. Is she real? Is she really here? And safe? And alive? And with me?

I bring my hand to her face slowly, softly, caressing the soft skin beneath my palm. Paige begins to shift again – as though to move from her place on my chest – but for a moment, even if she wants me to let her go, I have to feel her against me. I hold her closely, tightly, and I cry into her hair. After a long minute she pulls back just enough to look into my eyes again. I see nothing but worry, pain, and love. Overwhelming love. She still loves me. She's never said it out loud – not to me – but all I have to do is look into those expressive eyes and I know. I can wait until she's ready to tell me because deep down I know she loves me. And I need to let her know I love her back.

I pull her to me and bring my lips to her with guarded passion. She's so hurt, in such pain – but I need this. We need this. I kiss her with all the love pouring through my veins and I hope she feels it.

I pull back quickly and begin to speak. The words flowing from my mouth are a jumbled mess. I'm trying to tell her how worried I was but I still need to feel her skin beneath my lips. I kiss her face and her hair – words flowing between presses of my lips – and I feel her body melt back into mine. The urge to declare myself to her becomes so urgent, so insistent, that I hurriedly pull back from her and take her cheeks between my hands. I look her deep in the eyes and speak sharply.

"Paige. I need you to listen to me for just a minute, ok? Just for a minute. Just hear me out."

I see her nod her head gently with a look of trepidation. Did I scare her? Does she think something is wrong? Everything is so, so right. God, I need her to know – everything – right now.

"I thought I lost you. I'm so sorry for everything- for leaving you in the cabin, for not seeing how hurt you were, and mostly for leaving your side when you needed me most. I swear to you that I will be everything you need me to be and more. I'll never let you hurt like that, or get hurt like that ever again. I hope you can trust me when I say that you are my biggest priority and I'd be lost without you. I love you, Paige, and I can't imagine my life without you. I'm not letting you go. I'm not leaving you ever again."

I sigh in release as the words leave my throat. She is the most important thing in my life – nothing else even comes close. I left her there, let her believe that I was choosing my friends over her, let her believe I was going to leave her behind to die. I love her. I let her know I'd never hurt her and I'd never let anyone else hurt her either. I feel her stiffen in my arms as the last words leave my mouth. Maybe my declaration wasn't enough. Maybe she's upset and I'll have to fight harder. Maybe, just maybe, she wants nothing to do with me anymore. I don't care. She told me once – not so long ago – that she wished she'd fought harder for me. I'm going to fight for her. I'll fight harder for her than I've fought for anything before and she'll know – even if it takes a lifetime, I'll make sure she knows that I love her.

"What did you say?" the words are barely a whisper against my collar bone. The look on her face is of pure shock and surprise.

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours for as long as you'll have me. I love you."

"You love me?" Paige's eyes well up with tears. She was afraid I didn't love her. It makes sense, really, since I never told her. I was such an idiot. How could I ever not tell her? How could I be so cruel to make her think she was anything less than amazing? I'll make it up to her. She deserves the best of everything in this world and I'm going to be the one to give it to her. She's my Paige.

"Yes. I love you." I lean down again and kiss her lips softly. I pour myself into this simple meeting of lips, declaring my love and sealing it with a gentle press. I kiss her lips before I move to her cheek, her chin, her eyes, her temples, and her jaw – anywhere I can reach. I make sure to tell her "I love you" with each intake of breath, with each break of lips on skin. I love you. I love you.

After kissing every inch of skin I can find, I bring my lips back to hers and once again claim them with all the love I have to offer. I feel Paige sigh into my body as her lips begin to move underneath mine – relaxing into my mouth, my embrace and returning the kiss with a gentle passion unknown to me before now. Our lips glide over each other's with ease, but with a new and exciting fire – recently ignited by words. I feel Paige start to pull away but I move with her body, claiming her lips again and again - channeling all the hurt, all the pain and passion of the past few days, into this one glorious kiss. She smiles under my lips, pleased and impressed that I refuse to let her go. A small chuckle escapes her mouth and I feel her cast encased palm on my cheek. Reluctantly I allow the kiss to break as she pulls back to look into my eyes.

"Em?"

"Hmm?" I can't formulate words right now. She's looking at me with such hunger, such overwhelming emotion that my brain is short circuiting.

"Em. I'm so in love with you. I just – I can't even – ah uh" I guess her brain is short circuiting a little bit too. I look deeply into her eyes, hoping to show my agreement and understanding. I smile at her and feel the tears begin to trail down my cheeks again. She loves me. I knew she loved me by the sheer intensity of her stare and the devotion she showed with her actions, but to hear the words out loud is incomprehensible. She loves me. Oh my god, Paige McCullers loves me.

I must have been silent for a bit too long, because her head shifts downward, eyes cast toward the foot of the bed. I reach down and slide my hand over the side of her neck – fingers curling around to her hairline and thumb resting softly on her cheek. "I thought I told you not to look away." The words come out without my permission, but as soon as I hear them fill the room I am grateful my brain sometimes works without me. Paige's eyes shoot back to mine. "I love you, Paige, so don't look away from me."

"Never again, ok? I love you too, Emily, and I'll never look away again."


	9. Chapter 9: Family

Quick Notes: And this is where things start to get fun. I think my intense love for writing this really picks up with this chapter. As always, let me know what you think. I hope you all enjoy it!

Chapter 9 – Family

"I think the technical term for this is canoodling. What do you think?"

I look up sharply as Hanna bursts into my room, followed immediately by Aria and Mrs. Fields. Oh shit! Mrs. Fields. I should probably detangle myself from Emily, but she's so warm and comfortable I can't bring myself to move. Any lingering thoughts I have of shifting my body away from hers is lost as I feel her tighten her grip around me, holding me to her chest and taking a deep, satisfying breath.

"Hey guys." She greets warmly. "I was wondering when they were going to let you back here." She rubs her hand over my shoulder and down my arm, wordlessly sending her love and reassurance through my body as I watch my three new visitors settle in around my bed.

Hanna gracelessly plops down in Emily's long forgotten wheelchair, slinging her legs up on to the bed and earning a playful slap on the back of the head from Mrs. Fields. The older women sits gently on the bed near Emily's feet, subtly running her hand along the front of her daughter's blanket covered shin. Aria chooses to stand at Emily's side, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze in greeting before crossing her arms over her chest and shifting her weight between her feet.

"Spencer went to grab the doctor; she should be back in a few." I smile a thank you to the tiny girl before shifting myself into a half sitting position. I feel a sharp stab of pain in my side, having forgotten my injuries in lieu of the overwhelming happiness of the past few minutes, and hear myself let out a squeak. I try to cover the noise with a cough, but the action of fake coughing makes the pain intensify and I find myself falling back into Emily's body - completely negating the action of sitting up in the first place.

"Paige! Darling, are you ok?" I grit my teeth to keep the sounds of pain from falling out of my mouth and look up into Emily's concerned eyes. I feel my jaw tense and tears begin to well before burying my head back into Emily's chest, letting out a short sob that wracks my already aching body. I feel the reverberation of Emily's voice rumble beneath my ear and see her mother jump off the bed and out the door. The pain I'm feeling is unmatched but for the pain I only vaguely remember before Spencer drove me to the hospital, and I'm suddenly terrified of blacking out. I'm not ready to not be awake. Not ready to leave my bubble of soothing and love quite yet. I'm not ready to sleep.

I feel Emily's arms circling my body and her breath near my ear as she whispers to me.

"You're ok. I promise you're safe. My mom went to get the nurse. I'm sorry, darling, I'm so sorry you're hurting. I promise we'll fix it right now. You're ok. I love you; everything is going to be ok."

The rumble of her voice is comforting and my heart lifts slightly at the words she speaks. Other voices join hers in the room and without warning I feel a rush of warmth enter my body – followed by a complete and total lack of pain. My brain goes into high alert, remembering that a lack of pain means I'm about to pass out. It means the pain will be unbearable when I wake up again. It means waking up cold and shivering and without Emily. I can't do that again. I try to fight the warmth spreading through my veins, feeling the burn travel through my chest and stomach, down my legs and arms, before settling in the tips of my toes and ears. It's useless. The room begins to fade from my senses and I'm suddenly submerged – warm water surrounds me and the once clear voices are filtered through my underwater haze.

Beneath my ear, a deep rumble sends vibrations through my head and echoing deep in my chest. Emily. It's my Emily. I need to get back to my Emily. I fight the euphoric fog clouding my mind and push my way toward Emily's wonderful voice. She's calling to me. Answer her.

"Paige?" She's so close, but I feel like I've been swimming forever. "Darling?" I feel her fingers stroke my cheek. It's like my skin is still asleep. I feel her, though it seems as though my cheek is not attached to the rest of my body. Like no part of my body is attached to another. "Paige, can you hear me?" Finally breaking through the surface I hear her voice clearly. She's whispering directly in my ear and her warm breath brings the room back into focus. I feel like a bobble head as I try to lift my face back to face hers. My eyes are half-lidded and my neck feels like Jell-O, but I see her. My gorgeous girl. "Is that better, darling?"

"Yup" I answer, smiling goofily at her. "S'feels much better, love. I's think I like you's callin' me darlin'." I know my words are slurring from my lips, but I can't fix that.

Emily smiles back at me, broad grin threatening to take over her face, before leaning back down to my ear. "You're adorable when you're drunk."

I let out a short laugh and press a sloppy kiss to Emily's collar bone. My body melts back into hers as I rest my heavy arm over her hip and nuzzle into her neck. For the first time I don't feel uncomfortable showing her affection in front of her friends and mom. Maybe it's the drugs. Or maybe it's just because she loves me and I know she wants to be here, holding me like this.

"Aaaannd we're back to canoodling!" Hanna half shouts from her spot at my bedside before the room crackles with laughter.

"Shush, Han. Let them be." Mrs. Fields chimes in and I smile at the caring affection in her voice.

My bleary mind relaxes and I feel myself drifting in and out of a drug induced doze while the girls talk around me. I pick up words here and there, but the conversation remains distant. The soothing hum of Emily's voice is echoing through my body. My love. My life. Her voice so close to me – her body wrapped around me – brings me peace. Her laugh rumbles gently through her chest, inflections jumping and tones shifting subtly as the conversation moves steadily along. I could care less what they're saying. All I need is Emily and the comforts of her voice, her body – her being. God, I love her.

A low voice enters the conversation and my curiosity is piqued. I feel Emily's body tense beneath me and Mrs. Fields' voice rises above the hum of the conversation.

"Do not speak to them that way! You haven't the right." The low voice rings out through the room again before Mrs. Fields interrupts "I don't care if you're her doctor! I'll find her another damn doctor if you continue to speak about her and my daughter this way!" The low voice retorts once again. "Oh yeah? Well, where are her parents?! Somebody has to take responsibility here and since they won't, I will!"

Hearing Mrs. Fields stick up for me like this is certainly a new thing and I can't stand not knowing anymore. Who is she arguing with? What is he saying about me and Emily? I know I'm pretty far gone, but I'm almost certain I could fight anyone off just by swinging my 15 pound, heavily casted arm in front of us. Bring it on, jerk face, I can take you!

I fight with my own body as I try to shift and open my eyes. Who is this mysterious adversary? If I can trust my ears, this man is my doctor. Why would my doctor say anything bad about my relationship? Why would Mrs. Fields feel she needs to protect me from my doctor? Emily's chest rumbles under my ear once again. What did she just say? Did she just threaten to?

I open my eyes as widely as I can in my hazy state. I will my ears to focus on the sounds around me and very slowly, very unsteadily, Emily's voice cuts through the water and sounds off clearly.

"Doctor, I get that you want to check on her injuries and make sure she's ok, but if you take another step toward this bed right now I will castrate you with your own scalpel." I'm taken aback by the conviction in her voice. I've never heard her speak so brazenly, her brash words causing my head to shift suddenly toward the object of her threats. As my eyes meet the familiar figure of the man in the white lab coat, my breath hitches in my throat and I feel the fear building within my chest.

"Fortunately you all have no right to be here, so get out! She's my patient and her parents have placed her in my care, that means you can take your sinful heathen ways and get the hell out of this hospital!" Dr. Johansson's voice rang out forcefully and my body curled more tightly around Emily as his words washed over me. Can he do that? Can he make them leave – make her leave me here alone? Again? I can't take that again.

With a great deal of effort and sharp bursts of pain despite my current dose of painkillers, I sit upright in the bed and focus my sights on the doctor. I feel Emily's concerned hands move gracefully over my back and side as my ribs begin to ache unbearably and my chest heaves with exertion.

"Dr. Jo!" I cry out as confidently as I can. Fortunately my voice is stronger than the rest of me right now. "Dr. Jo. I want you to leave. I know my Dad probably sent you here, but I don't want to see you. I don't want to see him either. Leave this room and don't ever speak them like that again or I'm leaving this hospital – complications or not – and we'll see how my parents react to that."

All eyes are suddenly on me as Dr. Jo's eyes fix dangerously on my seated form. I focus my stare directly at him, daring him to speak or turn away. His jaw shifts with his effort to control his anger and his face tinges pink. For a moment I think he's about to burst with rage and start shouting again. Instead he looks deeply into my eyes before shifting his disgusted gaze around the room – noting the protective stance of Mrs. Fields and Aria between him and the bed, the unwavering form of Hanna standing behind me, arms supporting my seated form, and the waves of unadulterated contempt undulating from Emily as she stares right back at him with undisguised revulsion. He opens his mouth to speak again and, thinking the better of it, closes it again before moving to leave.

As he turns back toward the door, I notice Spencer standing with her arms crossed, blocking the door opening. Her face is one of complete contempt, a level of animosity I've never seen on her features before, and I am suddenly very afraid for Dr. Jo. He struts toward her with ignorant confidence, oblivious to the sheer force of nature he's about to encounter.

Spencer's eyes bore into his approaching form. Her body is rigid, wound tight with fury and protectiveness I've only seen her show for her best friends. The muscles in her jaw flex tensely, her feet are planted firmly into the shiny linoleum, and her shoulders are perfectly straight and square. The room is dead silent but for the light tap of his shoes on the tile as he makes his exit. Spencer's body blocks the door and he attempts to sweep her aside with a wave of his arm. Her body doesn't shift at all, like her feet are bolted to the floor. She looks up slightly at his taller form and meets his eyes.

"If I were you, I'd find a damn good lawyer. You're going to need it when I'm done with you."

Dr. Johansson flinches slightly – almost imperceptibly – at her words before she steps aside and he exits hastily. Spencer turns and shuts the door, locking it immediately, and I slump back to the bed with exhaustion and relief. I let myself fall back into Emily's warm body – she is lightly trembling with adrenaline - and let her strong embrace calm me down. I take a deep breath, as deep as my ribs will allow, and speak lowly.

"Thank you – all of you. You didn't have to do that, you know."

Mrs. Fields draws the blankets back up over my waist, reassuringly squeezing my shoulder before stepping away again. Spencer approaches the bed, killer glare fading quickly from her features and big, wet tears beginning to fall from her eyes. She sits gently on the edge of the small mattress before reaching out and grabbing my cast-hindered fingertips.

"Yes we did, Paige. You're family."


	10. Chapter 10: Heart Skipped A Beat

Quick Notes: Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. Keep 'em coming, they make it all feel worthwhile. Enjoy!

Chapter 10 – Heart Skipped a Beat

I wish we could've stayed cuddled up all day, but that bed was making us both sore and stiff.

My ribs are killing me, but I have to fight the pain for a while because that pain medication made me so sick earlier – so woozy and disoriented I thought I was losing my mind. After the run in with Dr. Jo I thought I was going to pass out. Apparently my nausea was obvious to everybody else in the room as well but their concern came a bit too late. Someone called for a bucket, but just as Aria grabbed one from the table across the room I very unceremoniously vomited all over Spencer's lap. It was quite a touching moment actually – she told me I was part of the family and I stained her favorite dry clean only pants with a stomach full of medication and bile. Luckily the whole group was around to see me lose my nonexistent lunch; otherwise I'd be completely mortified.

Sitting in Emily's discarded wheelchair, I ask if she'd be willing to take me outside for a bit. Fresh air would be so amazing right now – a little sunshine, maybe a nice breeze. She walks into the hall to find a nurse and hopefully get us permission for a stroll outside. I get my hopes up a little too much before I peek toward the window to notice the sun has already gone down. I can't believe it's only been a day. I can't believe how much has changed in such a short time. Just a couple days ago, Emily's best friends all thought I was responsible for making their lives a living hell. Hanna was all set to form a lynch mob and chase me out of this town – Spencer was all set to beat me into submission with a hockey stick. It's amazing how quickly things turned around; now I'm one of the family, I guess.

Emily walks back in; obviously disappointed if the look on her face is anything to go by. She bashfully makes eye contact as she walks over to me and kneels on the ground by the wheelchair. "Sorry, my love, we're not allowed to take any field trips quite yet, the doctor still has to check you out and make sure everything is starting to heal as it should." She leans up to kiss me and just before our lips make contact I very reluctantly turn my head causing her lips to make sound contact with my cheek. The look of absolute hurt on her face is bad enough, but as she leans back in and tries again to the same result, tears begin to form in her eyes and I feel like the biggest asshole on the planet.

"Em, baby, I want to kiss you every moment of every day – but right now I think what I need more than anything is an hour with a toothbrush and several very thorough showers." I kiss her forehead and hear her chuckle lightly before pulling me into a tight, but cautious hug. Without another word, she gets up and walks out of the room again, leaving me alone in the middle of the empty space.

I hear the fast paced click of shoes on hard tile and look up just in time to see Spencer come flying through the door. Her face is panicked and for a moment my heart starts to race and the panic builds within me too.

"Oh god, Paige! Are you ok? I was just body checked into a wall in the hallway. Emily ran past me so fast I didn't have time to find out what the problem was. I just assumed something was wrong with you. But you seem alright…"

"I'm fine. I swear. Wait - she body checked you and kept running? That doesn't seem like her."

"Yeah, I know. Hence my confusion. But you're feeling ok?"

"As well as can be expected. Just a little sore, you know?" Spencer nods sympathetically and moves to the uncomfortable looking chair across from me. She sits gracefully and pulls her legs up to her chest, resting her chin on top of her knees. She stares at me with a look I've never seen before, after a minute it starts to freak me out. "Spencer? What's going on? And where did you go?"

"Well, I had to run home and change after your little vomit party." I feel the blush of shame burn the skin of my cheeks and neck before breaking eye contact with Spencer and looking intently down at my own bare – and slightly dirty – feet. "Normally I carry a change of clothes in my car, but I drove you here in Emily's car, remember? I guess you don't, actually. Whatever the case – Hanna, Aria, and Mrs. Fields were going back to Emily's house to get clothes and food for you guys since Emily is clearly not leaving you here alone. You both seemed like you needed a little time to regroup after Dr. Dickhead's lovely visit. I had them drop me at my house to get changed. No worries about it this time, McCullers. I'll give you a free pass since you clearly feel awful about it."

I finally look back up to see her smiling at me with a teasing look on her face. She's not mad at me for puking on her? I guess that's progress. The day before yesterday she wanted to break both my kneecaps to keep me away from Emily, and today we're joking around? I don't think I can handle this turn of events – at least not now. Where the hell did Emily go? And how could she fucking leave me here alone with Spencer Hastings?

"Paige?" I guess I spaced out for a minute, because Spencer's face has gone from teasing to concerned and is quickly changing again to reflect the nervousness her body is radiating in waves. I look at her and nod slightly, indicating that I can hear her again. "Paige, I'm so sorry. For everything." She blurts out her apology and I don't really know what to do with this information.

"What?" Did Spencer Hastings just apologize to me? For what? Did Emily tell her she had to apologize? Did I just imagine the whole thing? I slowly – attempting to be subtle – reach my good hand down to the exposed skin of my leg and pinch slightly. Nope, I'm awake. Definitely awake and ouch. "Why are you apologizing to me, you haven't done anything? I mean, you didn't do anything to me while I was sleeping, right? Cause that's kind of fucked."

Spencer laughed for a fraction of a second before becoming solemn and more serious than I've ever seen her when she wasn't threatening to beat me to death. "Paige. I thought it was you. I was so convinced it was you that I tried – I got Hanna and Aria to try – to take Emily away from you. I had no single doubt in my mind that you had been the one who was making our lives miserable, and I actually staged an intervention to get Emily to leave you. I almost called the cops to tell them to arrest you – I was prepared to make up a crime so they'd take you in on suspicion charges. There is nothing I can do to ever make up for that. But I'll start by saying how sorry I am that I ever doubted your intentions toward Emily, and by making sure you know that from now on, I'm on your side. Whatever you need, I'm your girl. Or your bro, or whatever – I don't really know how the phrasing works when "your girl" is the girl you're dating, because clearly that's not me." She looks at me with a very serious but extremely confused expression – like she's trying to decode a secret language – and I can't hold it in anymore. I laugh, long and hard, directly in her face.

I'm trying my best to rein in my laughter – not only because Spencer seems to be getting agitated with my response to her apology, but also because laughing hurts like a bitch. My whole torso is on fire. Waves of pain shoot up through my hips to my breast bone and stall between my ribs. I bring my uninjured hand up to grasp at my stomach, trying without any success whatsoever to calm my breathing and laughter long enough to take in a deep breath. I close my eyes tightly and try to focus on something long enough to ease my laughter. Think of something not funny, damnit! Umm, sore muscles – screw that, pain obviously isn't stopping this. Being locked in a closet by a deranged psychopath – definitely not funny, but also not what I want to be thinking about right now. Emily. Oh my Emily. Not funny, not at all. That beautiful smile and that amazing body – god, she's perfect. Those legs, delicious – they seem to go on forever. And her back – perfectly muscular and entirely feminine. But that smile – that's what gets me. That sexy smile, when she quirks the side of her mouth up just a bit. When she looks at me like she wants to…mmm…

"Paige!" I feel my laughter subside, but my heart rate isn't slowing. The monitor behind me is beeping quickly, too quickly for Spencer's comfort. Before she can get up and chase down a doctor in the hall, I open my eyes and ground myself by looking at my own heavily bruised legs. Well, those definitely aren't funny or sexy. My heart rate steadily slows back down to a normal rate and I look up at Spencer with a nervous smile.

"Sorry about that. I got – distracted."

"You scared me half to death – again. Please stop doing that." I almost start to laugh again at the look on her face. I feel like a scolded child.

"No need to worry about me. I'm just fine. The girl of my dreams loves me, I have three brand new friends, and I'm going to live. I'll call it a good day." I smile at the words that come out of my mouth. I hadn't really thought about it like that, but saying it out loud really made it true. Emily loves me. That alone is enough to make my day – hell, my year – the best ever. But my brush with kidnapping and bloody death also brought me a new family – a group of people who are willing to stick up for me and take me in when I need them most.

"What the hell did you do to her, Spence!? I heard the heart rate monitor going off all the way down the hall! I literally just raced the nurse down here from the station at the end of the hallway." Emily's angry form is blocking the doorway. Her ears are tinged red as she yells at Spencer and I have to make a conscious effort to keep my heart rate down. I see a nurse make her way into the room and check the machine behind me.

"You ok, sweetie?" I nod. Please don't ask why the machine was going off like that, I'm already ashamed for thinking it, no need to say it out loud. I chance a look at Emily's flushed and sexy face and my heart jumps just a bit. "Hmm. I see." The nurse, thankfully, takes a step toward me and removes the heart rate monitor from my index finger. She looks at me for a second and tilts her head slightly toward Emily. "I get it honey; you don't need it anymore anyhow. You just let me know if I can get you anything." I release the breath I didn't know I was holding and let out a groan of relief. She disconnected a few wires and turned the machine off before making her way back out the door and into the hall.

I turn back to the scene unfolding in the doorway. Emily is standing stock still staring harshly at Spencer – who is unsuccessfully trying to form words to explain what we were talking about. After opening and closing her mouth a few times, she finally stands up, walks carefully over to my chair – eyes on Emily the entire time. Once she's standing in front of me she whispers "I'm sorry, Paige. Please believe that." Spencer gives me a very tentative and quick hug before bolting toward the door.

"Spence!" I call out after her. She turns just as her legs pass the threshold. Our eyes meet and I give her a reassuring smile. "Thanks." She returns my smile with a brilliant one of her own before turning back on her heels and making her way down the hall.

Emily approaches from the doorway, looking me over to make sure I'm ok. She sits on the edge of the bed to my right and grasps my uninjured hand – bringing it to her mouth and dropping a kiss on my palm. "Are you ok, darling? I came running back when I heard the monitor going off in here. What happened?"

"Em, baby, I'm fine. Spencer apologized for thinking I was the bad guy and I just lost it, for some reason. I started laughing and couldn't stop and it hurt so badly. It's ok, everything is ok." I look deeply in her eyes and feel myself start to lose focus. I shake my head slightly "Hey! Where did you go? You just left without a word and Spencer said you body checked her in the hallway?"

"Oh, yes. I meant to apologize for that but when I got back in here I thought she hurt you so I wasn't sorry anymore. I'll tell her later." She grinned and I bring our connected hands back to my mouth and kiss her with a small laugh. "I went down to the nurses' station to see if you're allowed to shower. I know how badly you wanted to get cleaned up and I figured they'd be able to tell me what the protocol is when you're bandaged up like you are."

My hopes pick up immediately at the prospect of a shower. I haven't showered since after swim practice two days ago. Since before being tied up and shoved in that closet – and surgery – and laying in dirty sheets for an entire day. A shower sounds fantastic. "Well, what's the verdict?" I ask, a little impatiently.

Emily picks up on my urgency. She gets up off the bed and steps behind my chair, slowly wheeling me toward the bathroom. We reach the bathroom and she pushes me in and steps in behind me, closing and locking the door. I sigh when I realize a shower is in my very near future. Emily returns my sigh with one of her own before moving in front of me and leaning down again – looking me square in the eyes.

"The nurses said you can't shower yet, but you can take a bath. They also said you're going to need help washing up because you have to be extra careful around your stitches and the cast on your arm. I can go get a nurse if you'd rather, but I hoped since I clearly need to wash up as well, you'd let me help you." Emily looked away nervously as her words ran through my head. Once the shock of the idea began to wear off I finally opened my mouth and squeaked out my approval.

I bring Emily's chin back up so I can look into her beautiful eyes again. "I thought you said no looking away." She smiles at me briefly before getting up and retrieving a plastic wrapped toothbrush from the basket on the sink.

"How about we start here?" Emily hands me a toothbrush and kisses the top of my head before moving me to the sink and turning on the faucet.


	11. Chapter 11: Eyes Open

Quick Notes: Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. I'm glad you all seem to like the endearments; I thought they were especially fitting for these two. The next couple of chapters are Paily-rific, I hope you enjoy. As always, let me know what you think. Quick update to follow.

Chapter 11 – Eyes Open

As I brush my teeth for the third consecutive time, I take in the scene around me. For the first time I'm grateful for my family's connections to the hospital, and though I want to punch Dr. Jo in the face right now, I know he had something to do with my room situation. I noticed the quality of my accommodations earlier, but I wasn't fully aware of my luck until I took a good look at the bathroom. My private room includes a private bathroom with a large tub shower. Usually these rooms don't have much more than a tile room with a shower head on the wall, so I'm sure this will cost my parents a fortune, but I'm happy to take advantage right now. With her toothbrush hanging limply out of her mouth, Emily responds to a text message that just came in before setting her phone down on the counter and moving to stand beside me. She resumes brushing her teeth with vigor and looks down into my eyes before shyly spitting into the sink and running the water over her toothbrush. She gives me a wide grin and wipes the excess water from her mouth with her sleeve before leaning down and kissing my forehead. A short knock on the door startles me a bit and Emily moves to answer it.

I spit out a large gob of toothpaste foam and rinse out my mouth before taking a big swig of mouthwash and swishing it around in my mouth. Usually the alcohol burn of the mouthwash has me counting down the seconds until I can spit it out, but as my cheeks ache with the action of swishing the liquid around it hits me that I'm about to shower with Emily Fields. I almost choke before I lean my body over the sink and spit the green mouthwash down the drain. I cough a few times, mentally kicking myself for the action as my ribs ache before I take a few sips of cool water from the paper cup on the sink. I see Emily talking to Spencer in the mirror before she takes a bag from her hands and shuts the door again.

"Hey." The shyness is apparent in her voice as she returns to my side. "My mom and the girls are back. They dropped off some stuff for us and went to check on Caleb. Spencer texted a little while ago wondering where we went. I told her we were going to wash up, so she brought up a bag of shower supplies and some comfy pajamas for us both." I smile at her to let her know my relief at finally getting to clean up. I feel grungy and I'm sure I look even worse.

Emily though, even after everything she's been through, looks amazing. On the plus side, she'll never have to see me this dirty again, so it can only go up from here. I start to get lost in thought before catching her eyes again. She seems apprehensive and I can't blame her. I wouldn't want to get naked with me right now either.

"Em, if you want to wait in the room, I won't be mad. I'm sure I can handle washing up on my own." The look on her face automatically turns from apprehension to all out hurt. What did I say? I was just trying to keep her from having to touch my disgusting body right now. Ugh, I suck.

"Paige? Darling? Do you want me to leave? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable with this whole bath thing, but if I did I can call a nurse for you. You shouldn't do this alone though, it's not safe." She stares at me deeply and I can't formulate an answer right away. Does she want to stay? Or does she just feel obligated to help? She seems genuine, like she wants to take care of me. What should I say? Paige, you're a moron. Think.

Emily starts walking to the door and it finally sinks in that she's going to leave and some stranger is going to come in here and put their hands all over my body. I can't handle that. I don't think I could've handled that before being kidnapped and locked in a closet, but definitely not now. Emily is kneeling before me wiping tears from my cheeks before I even realize I've been crying. The look on her face is comforting; she understands what I'm going through – what I'm feeling. Before I can open my mouth to explain my sudden sensitivity, she stands before me and lifts the scrub shirt up and over her head.

The scene plays out in slow motion in my head. Inch by inch, an expanse of smooth, flawless skin is exposed. Taut muscles flex and release under tan skin with the motion of removing the shirt from her body. A simple dark purple bra appears in gentle contrast to her caramel skin and the sickening pale blue of the walls. My heart rate picks up without my permission and I am overwhelmingly thankful it is no longer being broadcast over a machine. My eyes are glued to the slight ridge of muscle on her flat stomach – halfway between her belly button and her breasts. I see it tremble as she laughs gently, seeing the motion well before the melody of her laughter reaches my ears.

"Paige. Hey, look at me." her demand is soft and calming.

"I am." Her abdomen shakes with that laugh again

"I mean look at my face, darling." With sudden shame I shoot my eyes up to hers. She must think I'm such a guy – ogling her like that. Ugh, nice one Paige.

The look she's wearing is anything but disgusted though. She is smiling slightly – that sexy closed lipped half-smirk. Usually that look tears my breath from my chest, but as I instinctively inhale sharply I discover that I've been holding my breath and there is no more room in my chest. I try to focus on releasing the breath slowly, hoping she won't notice. It becomes obvious that I've failed as she sits gently on the edge of the bathtub and takes my hands between hers. She leans toward me and brings her lips to mine in a sound kiss before pulling back slightly.

"Paige. I think I'm starting to understand and I really don't want you to worry. You are beautiful and sexy and irresistible, so I'll have to exercise a lot of self-control to get through this. I know you probably don't feel attractive right now, I know I don't, but please believe me when I say you are breathtaking. So, how about we take this one step at a time, love? If you feel uncomfortable at any point, let me know and I'll give you some space – and I'm sure you'll do the same for me, right?" I nod dumbly. "I love you and more than anything I want to help you and be here for you. This is not an obligation or guilt; it isn't pity or a way to make myself feel better about putting you in this situation to begin with. Let me help" she says as that smirk returns to her mouth "I promise you won't regret it."

I want to duck my head down more than anything right now. The relief of her words washes over me and I feel the blush rise in my cheeks and neck. I try and steady my breath and bring my hand to the back of my neck. The loose bow holding my hospital gown together is harder to release than I thought.

Emily stands in front of me again. She grips the waistband of her pants and quickly lowers them down over her hips and lets them fall to the floor. Before I can take in the sight of her before me, she moves behind my chair and unties the knot holding the thin material of my gown to my body. It falls from my neck, exposing my breasts to the cool air of the bathroom. The fabric pools at my waist and neither of us makes any move to remove it completely. She's giving me a minute to adjust. I look over my shoulder and see that she has her eyes closed, breathing heavy and she's trembling slightly. She's giving herself a minute to adjust as well. I reach back and grip her hand, pulling her to stand in front of me again. I draw her into a somewhat awkward one armed hug and gasp as her bra clad breasts press against my own naked ones. She inhales sharply at the same sensation and I can't help but smile. She feels it too.

I release my grip on her back and bring my hand up to unclasp her bra. She stiffens as the clasp releases before pulling back. Our eyes stay glued to each other's as she lowers the straps over her shoulders and allows her bra fall to the floor.

I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Emily Fields is standing in front of me in just her panties. Focus, this is not sexual. She's helping you take a bath after a brutal kidnapping and attempted murder, Paige, get a grip. Ok, I can do this. I open my eyes and all I can do is gape at her. My mouth hangs open and I stare unabashedly at her mostly naked body, raking my eyes from her bare feet all the way back up to her smiling eyes. I can see her arms twitching to cover up so I speak up before she has the opportunity. "Em, god, you're stunning. I swear I'll stop ogling you and I promise I'm not a complete perv, but goddamn, woman. You are inhumanly gorgeous." My babbling earns me a hearty laugh as Emily moves to turn on the water in the tub.

With her head still turned away from me, she begins to speak. "I know you're pretty seriously hurt and this is supposed to be completely non-sexual, but I'm having some serious issues keeping myself in check right now." The sound of her voice echoes over tile and running water before she turns her head back to face me again. "Your reaction just now made me realize that I want you looking at me that way. I mean, I've felt it before, obviously, when we've gotten more – intimate – but I've never felt more beautiful, more wanted than I do right now." She brings her eyes up to lock with mine. "Right now, standing here in front of you I can honestly say that I've never seen anyone, anything more beautiful – more perfect than you." The flush on my skin races from my exposed chest up my arms and neck, landing on the tips of my ears. Emily slides her fingers beneath the waistband of her panties and slowly draws them down her legs and to the ground before she steps out of them completely.

I lick my lips unconsciously and do my absolute best to maintain eye contact. I know once I look at her completely nude form I'll turn into a quivering mess and I'd like to maintain my composure for a least a little longer. I see her approaching as she brings her hand to my cheek, caressing softly, before connecting our lips in a passionate kiss. Every nerve ending is on fire as she draws back, stepping into full view. "Paige." The sound of her voice draws my eyes to her lips. "Paige, darling, I want you to look at me." I nod, unblinking and steel myself for a moment before allowing my eyes to travel down the lithe form of her body.

"Holy shit."


	12. Chapter 12: Keeping Clean

Chapter 12 – Keeping Clean

"Holy shit."

My eyes trace the contours of Emily's strong body as I struggle to keep breathing. From sparkling eyes and pouty lips – down pronounced collarbones – past perfect supple breasts – over a flat, toned stomach – pausing momentarily at hourglass hips and lightly jutting hip bones – flitting over a small thatch of dark hair between her legs (quickly, not to make either of us any more nervous) – running down strong thighs to slender calves (and god, those legs go for miles) – and finally settling on anxiously shifting bare feet. I feel my breath catch in my throat as I draw my eyes back up her body to meet her gaze again. She's smiling – nervously this time – and I see her fighting not to cover her (very) exposed body with her hands. She glances at the bathtub filling behind her before a startled look takes over her features. She spins around without warning and turns off the water tap, reaching down to the drain plug and pulling it out.

God, she really is fucking perfect. Everywhere. Her unintentional spin gave me a welcomed opportunity to see her whole form and I don't think I'm ever going to get the sight of her perfect ass out of my head – not that I want to. Through the glaze of my aroused view I notice that Emily is facing me once again. She also appears to be talking to me but I can't hear a thing. I shake my head sharply, clearing the daze from my mind and her voice sounds out clear as day. "I wasn't paying attention; I let the tub fill too much." Ah, yes. Of course.

Emily begins to flit about the small room, snapping out of her nervousness and gathering supplies like we've been bathing together for ages. How can she be so comfortable just walking around naked like that? I'm not even naked and I'm getting self-conscious. Once again, I try to shake off my thoughts and focus on the room around me. Emily sits on the edge of the bathtub and brings her hands to my cheeks. She kisses me softly, reassuringly.

"I spoke to the nurse earlier – when I asked about the whole shower thing – and she gave me a crash course in how it's done. First I need to take that bandage off your incision site." She pointed to the gauze bandage just below my left breast. I hadn't even thought about that. My face must be giving off an air of apprehension, because Emily grasps both of my hands, kissing them gently, before continuing to explain what is about to happen. "Once the bandage is off, I'll clean around the incision with a washcloth very gently. She said it would still be very tender, but the medication should at least ward off any serious pain. Then I'll put this" she holds up a sealed package with a large bandage about the size of a small paperback book "over the stitches. Its waterproof, so you'll be able to sit in the tub as long as the water level stays below your bellybutton." With this she seemed to remember taking the plug out of the bathtub. She turned and quickly put it back in before looking back to me. "Do you want to try standing?"

My first instinct is to be offended by the question. Try standing? I'm a championship level swimmer! I run four and a half miles a day and ride my bike everywhere I go. Of course I can stand. My pride gets the best of me and I plant my feet on the floor before urging my body out of the wheelchair. I stand too quickly. I feel the head rush coming on for a split second before it hits. My legs get weak and the room spins and my body lurches forward. Instinctively I thrust my arms out in front of me to break the fall I know is coming – but instead I feel a soft, warm body and strong arms holding me upright.

"Too fast, darling. Just a little too fast. Here, let's try and move this way." Emily is practically supporting my whole weight as my body sags uselessly against her naked form. Her legs press against my own, taking small steps forward – causing me to reverse step in sync with her – until my back comes in contact with a sturdy wall. I feel the hospital gown drop lifelessly from my hips as Emily steps back slightly. Her feet kick it away gently before she looks back into my eyes and I notice her pupils are blown. Clearly her insides are on fire, but she remains poised and helpful on the surface. I clear my throat and smile at her before leaning in and kissing her soundly.

Through our kiss – our diving dance of lips, teeth, and tongues – our fully unclothed bodies press into one another fully. A moan echoes off the tile walls and small gasps escape frenzied lips before Emily pulls back sharply. The fire in her eyes is blazing now and I feel the same flames burning within my own eyes. I understand. This is not supposed to be like this. I can barely hold myself up and I know she's having a hard time keeping her cool.

"Sorry, Em. Too much?"

"Way too much, but never apologize." That sexy smirk returns to her lips before she leans in for one last kiss.

Finally, she steps back – guiding my hands to the rails on the walls for balance – and fills a small tub with warm water. Emily sets a towel on the floor in front of me before kneeling on it and putting herself eye level with my damaged torso. I am very very exposed in this position. My body is leaning heavily into the wall, uninjured hand gripping at the rail on my right as my left hangs uselessly, weighed down by the heavy cast. Emily places a soft kiss to my stomach, just above my bellybutton, before reaching her hand to the edge of the bandage over my ribs. I remember Spencer telling me they'd had to take out my spleen, but I don't really know what that means. Am I going to have a gnarly scar or is it one of those tiny ones. The bandage is pretty huge – it covers almost the whole left side of my body, from my breast to the bottom of my ribs. Maybe Emily will think it's sexy? I'm sure it isn't going to be sexy right now though.

She tenderly peels the medical tape and gauze from my body. In the mirror above the sink I can see that the incision is about 4 inches long, stitched tightly and red against my pale skin. I inhale and avert my eyes from the reflection – I can see the back of Emily's head and I really don't want to see her turn away from my injuries. Instead, I hear the splash of water as she wets the washcloth and slowly begins to clean the skin around the stitches. She is gentle, almost unnoticeable but for the touch of her free hand holding tightly to my hip. Emily quickly but thoroughly cleans my stomach, washing away layers of dirt, blood, and antiseptic. She opens the bandage and gingerly places it over my stitches. I let out my breath as she runs her hand down the side of my body, whispering her fingers over the nasty purple and blue bruise on my ribs. It hadn't been so noticeable with the large bandage, but with the new covering the bruise appears to engulf the majority of the left side of my body.

Her fingers tickle against my skin, yet they leave a slight ache at her touch. She pulls her fingers away and covers the entire area with small, chaste kisses. Like a toddler her kiss makes me feel all better. I want to tell her to kiss all the pain away, but the touch of her lips surpassed healing and is setting fire to my skin. My body aches for her touch. I feel the wetness build at the apex of my thighs as she kneels before me, running her hands and mouth over my battered skin.

"Em!" I manage to gasp out as my arousal reaches a new peak. "You're driving me crazy!"

"Oh, Paige. Oh my god." She pulls back from my body with a horrified expression. "I didn't mean to do that. I mean, I meant it and I fully intend to pick this up once you're well, but. I, oh no. I'm such a spaz." I can't help but laugh a little at her incoherence as I reach down and help guide her back to her feet in front of me.

"It's ok, Em. I'm clearly losing control here and my body is literally aching for you to keep going." Her eyes grow impossibly darker. "But, we have to stop – for now. Soon, ok?"

"Of course." She grabs my hands in her own and begins to walk slowly backwards. I mirror the actions of her legs until we are standing at the edge of the bathtub. She moves to stand behind me now, holding my body upright as I struggle to lift one leg – and then the other - until I am standing ankle deep in warm water.

She quickly climbs into the tub in behind me and together we lower our bodies into the water. Once settled, the water level ends just above my hips. I groan at the feel of the water over my lower body, and then again as I feel Emily's hands run over my filthy skin with a washcloth. She washes me intently, running the cloth over my back and stomach; down my legs; across my shoulders and arms. She pauses apprehensively when all that's left is my chest and private areas. Her hands still on my stomach, cloth in hand and I bring my own hands to cover hers. I gently nudge her hands higher until her palms are fully covering my now (painfully) erect nipples. I bite back a moan at her touch and I hear her gasp sharply in my ear. She holds me for a moment, and then moves her cloth over my sensitive skin. Finally, she drops the cloth and uses her soapy hands to finish washing my breasts – both of us struggling to maintain composure the whole time.

Once my body is clean, she uses the detachable showerhead to wash my hair. It takes three washes before the water runs clear and I pray the scent of Emily's lavender shampoo will linger as long as possible. After I'm clean, she stands and steps out of the tub before handing me the washcloth and turning her back. I finish washing myself – ignoring the extra wetness between my legs – and clear my throat again to indicate that I'm finished.

"Ahem. Emily?" she turns back around and smiles. I feel so safe in this moment. Her eyes are full of love and relief. The act of bathing together is incredibly intimate, but I feel no more shyness – no shame or fear. Emily's eyes say it all. She loves me. "Em. I love you. Thank you."

I swear her eyes water for a moment before she smiles broadly. "I love you, darling. Now let's get you out of there." She helps me back into a standing position – it's much harder to go from the floor to standing than to stand from a chair – and once again assists me in stepping out of the bathtub. Once both of my feet are firmly on the floor, she wraps me in a big, fluffy towel and begins to run her hands all over my body – diligently soaking any moisture from my skin. Once I am mostly dry, I sit back in the wheelchair and watch as Emily climbs back into the tub and turns the shower on.

My mouth hangs open and my eyes are blatantly staring at her naked form as the steaming spray of water washes over her body. I know I should look away as a courtesy, but I can't do it. It's not physically possible at this moment in time. She doesn't seem to mind – in fact, she looks me square in the eyes and smiles as she lathers her body and washes the dirt and pain of the past few days down the drain. My eyes trace the curve of her neck as she throws her head back into the spray to rinse her hair. The lingering wetness I'd felt earlier is back with a vengeance and I struggle not to squeeze my legs together to alleviate some of the pressure building. Her shower is short.

When she's finished, she steps out and dries off with a towel just like mine. Both of our confidence begins to wane as we dress quickly. She puts on a fresh pair of panties and pajama pants before helping me stand to put on the same. I notice she's averting her eyes from my still exposed chest as she pulls a sports bra over my head and helps me adjust it over my breasts. Her fingers graze my skin and we both shudder at the contact. Recovering quickly, she pulls a loose tank top onto my body before stepping back and pulling on a tight t-shirt.

Very carefully, I pull Emily down into my lap and wrap my arms around her body. She relaxes into me for a short moment before she begins to pull away. I stop her with a firm hand on her lower back. I bring my hand up to her cheek and guide her lips down to mine for a long, lingering kiss. When we finally break apart, she rests her forehead against mine.

"God, I love you so much Paige. I'm so happy I didn't lose you. Promise we'll keep each other safe." It was supposed to be a question, but her statement was clear.

"Always, love. I promise."

She reluctantly gets up and opens the bathroom door. Mrs. Fields and the nice nurse are chatting as they strip the bed and put on fresh new sheets. Hanna and Aria are on the chairs in the corner, sipping coffee and talking animatedly about something. Spencer is staring out the window, but turns when she hears the bathroom door open. She smiles. "Feel better, ladies?"

I smile back "much better, thanks".

Our short words draw attention from the rest of the room. Hanna speaks up first.

"Hey Paige! How about I dry and braid your hair and you can tell me all about what it's like to get naked and soapy with Em?" I blush profusely and so does Emily. I grab her hand to comfort her, but realize she doesn't need it as I see the smirk curling on her lips. She pushes the wheelchair over to where the girls are sitting and helps me onto the narrow sofa. Once I'm settled, she plants her body in front of mine – hips firmly in between my legs. She leans back and draws me into a quick, but definitely not chaste kiss – pulling away only at the sound of her mother exaggeratedly clearing her throat near the bed.

"Emily Fields! I know you're in love and I respect that, but I don't need to see you make out – you're still my kid, you know? Also, I have zero desire to know what happened in that bathroom."

Hanna waits for Mrs. Fields to turn back to the bed before leaning down to speak lowly in my ear.

"I still wanna know." She says, laughing lightly before rubbing the towel lightly over my wet hair.


	13. Chapter 13: Details

Quick Notes: Thank you guys for sticking with me! I know it's been a little while since I updated last, but sometimes life gets in the way, you know? I've been really humbled and grateful for your reviews and comments – I'm doing my best to keep things updating at a steady pace and more is on the way very soon.

A special note for literarylesbian37 – I think your review for the last chapter is the highest praise I've ever gotten for a story. I appreciate it more than you know and I hope you'll continue reading. Thanks again.

Chapter 13 – Details

"Paige! I can't believe you just said that!" I look at my girlfriend in shock as she blushes and covers her face with her hands. Hanna is beaming from her spot behind Paige. She just finished braiding her hair in pigtails while we all talk in the sitting area. She'd gotten Paige talking about our shower after my mom stepped into the bathroom. My love didn't actually give her any details, but from my spot in front of her on the couch I could see the smirk take over her lips as she remembered the very intimate experience we just shared.

_I was running my hands over her lower legs – which were stretched out over my lap – and the touch seemed to arouse her slightly as she sat deep in thought. I saw her squirm a bit in place – it was probably unnoticeable by our friends – but I know her well enough to see that isn't one of her typical mannerisms. I began to smirk lightly to myself thinking of our naked bodies touching and the thrill of my hands on her breasts; the hunger in her eyes as she watched me shower. Before I knew it my hands were still against her hot skin and I was staring at her lips as she flicked her tongue out over them to moisten them. I saw Hanna fidget behind Paige as she secured the bottom of both braids with a small hair band. _

"_So, Paige, how about those details?" Hanna had said quietly. _

_Paige was still lost in her own fantasy, though. Her eyes were closed and breathing shallow. Her lips were barely parted and it was clear to me that she was panting slightly. "God, she's so fucking sexy." She said it and immediately turned a deep shade of crimson. Before she opened her eyes, she steeled herself for any comments from Hanna, but I squeezed her leg reassuringly. _

Paige's eyes snap to mine in a panic. "Em, oh god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to – uh, Hanna just made me think about – oh yeah, I guess I should just shut. Up. Now." She buries her head back in her hands and I glare at Hanna. She shrugs nonchalantly before getting up from her chair and moving to put the brush away in her bag on the other side of the room. Mom comes out of the bathroom and looks around the room at the five of us. Hanna is standing – looking guilty as ever – near the bed; Spencer is trying not to burst out laughing from her spot on the floor right in front of Paige's body; Aria is still trying to figure out what happened, since she was sitting out of earshot in one of the uncomfortable looking chairs.

"Hanna! What did you do this time?" Mom scolds, with a knowing look and a slight grin on her face. "I should have known you'd cause trouble as soon as I left this room!" We all start to laugh at the assessment of the situation.

Just as Hanna opens her mouth to defend herself, Dr. Jo appears in the doorway just to the left of where she's standing. She stiffens upon seeing him and turns to face him fully. Spencer, who had been more relaxed then I've seen her in days, sprung up from the floor and approached him with fury – Mom followed hot on her heels.

"How dare you come back here, you chauvinistic, bigoted jackass! We've requested another doctor and you have no right to be here! Get the fuck out before I have you removed!" Spencer is on the verge of completely losing her mind. Mom grabs her shoulder gently and holds her from throwing her slight body into his towering frame. "Mrs. Fields, I called my mother earlier and she told me we have every right to call security or the police if he steps foot in this room. He is no longer her care provider and is a detriment to her recovery. She's working on a restraining order as we speak."

"Spencer, I understand honey. Why don't you go have a seat for a minute and I'll figure out what he wants?" Mom walks around Spencer's rigid form and gives her a sympathetic look before walking over to Dr. Jo. Spencer walks backward toward the couch, refusing to take her eyes off of the threat still lingering in the doorway. She sits back down on the floor in front of Paige, clearly demonstrating her protectiveness over my girlfriend. I need to remember to thank her later.

Paige's body has stiffened and I feel her start to shift on the couch. She tries to pull her legs toward her chest, but the pain in her ribs prevents the movement. She looks at me pleadingly, searching for my touch. I understand what she needs immediately. I stand on the couch cushion and nod to her. Paige scoots her body toward the middle of the couch as I take a big step behind her and sit in the corner she just vacated. I shift my body so my back is leaning against the armrest and my left leg is stretched out over the crease of the cushions. My right foot is on the floor near Spencer's right hip. Paige shuffles back gently until her body is leaning fully against mine. Her legs are still stretched out over the couch, but her back is firmly pressed into my front and she pulls my arms around her to clasp our hands in her lap.

She needs me to keep her safe. I can – no, I have to – keep her safe and make sure she knows I'll never let anything bad happen to her again. I grip her a little tighter and press kisses to the back of her neck, her shoulder, and her cheek before I feel her start to relax back into my embrace. Across the room, Mom and Dr. Jo are having a hushed – but intense looking conversation. After a few minutes, they both walk into the room and sit across from us – much to the disapproval of Spencer.

"Well girls, it seems we have a few things to discuss." Mom looks at Paige and smiles before turning her gaze to me, and then Spencer on the floor –her body shifted to effectively place herself between us and Dr. Jo's newly seated form. "Paige, honey, Dr. Johansson has spoken with your new doctor and they've decided you'll be stable enough to be discharged sometime tomorrow afternoon." I feel my girlfriend let out a deep breath at the news. At least she's finally beginning to relax. I squeeze her hands and press a lingering kiss to her shoulder. As I begin to pull back from her warm skin, I notice Dr. Jo glaring at me.

"Is there something you needed?!" I snap at him before I realize the words are coming out of my mouth. In my arms, Paige stiffens once again, realizing the implications of my words. Dr. Jo caught my display of affection and it's making her uncomfortable. Not on my watch. "Dr. Whatever, if you have a problem by all means – the door is right behind you." I look him square in the eye as I kiss Paige's cheek. She melts a little and I feel the tension leave her shoulders. She understands what I'm getting at here. She's mine. I'm hers. And I don't give a good goddamn what anyone – including her doctor – thinks about it. She brings her hand up to my cheek and pulls her body from mine just a bit. She shifts enough to connect our lips firmly, kissing me with reserved passion and without a trace of fear. I feel her flick the tip of her tongue over my top lip as we pull away and I gasp lightly. I place another quick peck on her lips – followed by short kisses to her nose; her cheek; and finally her temple as I pull her back against my body. I look back to Dr. Jo to find him looking at the floor tile intently, practically shaking with disgust.

"Why don't you just tell us what you need to say and get the hell out?" The tone of Spencer's raspy voice cuts through the silence of the room and Dr. Jo's eyes snap to the intense girl sitting a short distance from his feet. He looks for a moment as though he is going to snap back at her, the words are dancing on the tip of his tongue and he turns an angry shade of crimson once again. After a few deep breaths, however, he looks to Paige.

"You're going to be discharged tomorrow after another night of observation and a few tests in the morning. So far, everything looks good – as good as can be expected I presume. You'll need to come back in 10-14 days to have your stitches removed; you can set that appointment at discharge tomorrow. I will no longer be your primary care physician – you have made it perfectly clear you no longer want anything to do with me or your parents' wishes." Wait, what? How does Paige know him? Her primary care? I thought he was a surgeon?

"I've assigned my brightest resident to tend to your post-surgical care and follow up. Her name is Dr. Bohner; she'll be in later on to talk over the details of your aftercare. You'll need to stick to the wheelchair for at least 10 days as to not further stress your fractured ribs. I'd recommend having someone around to help you out since getting around in the chair will prove difficult with your arm in the shape it is. As for that, the surgical cast will be removed when you get your stitches out. They'll do more x-rays and check on your healing progress then to assess where to go from after that. Do you have any questions?"

Paige shakes her head lightly before looking to me. I shake my head as well. Things have been made perfectly clear.

"Ok, then. Paige, I wish you'd reconsider your choices; things will not be easy with this path you're taking. If you decide you want to return to the righteous path, you know where to find me." as he stands to leave, Paige speaks to him for the first time since he entered the room.

"Uncle Jo?" he turns and looks back at her. "Have you heard from my parents?"

"I called your father yesterday when you were brought in. They know you've been hurt and that you'll recover."

"Is. Um. I mean. Is… Is that all they said?" I can feel the sadness and hurt radiating in her voice.

Dr. Jo looks at Paige with a strange expression. His eyes are almost sympathetic but his mouth and the tense line of his jaw still project his anger and disgust. "Paige" he starts sternly "You know the arrangement with your parents. You know what it's going to take to fix things with them. They're gracious enough to allow you to live on their property – and until your inheritance matures you're still their child, at least on paper. Don't push this – it won't end well for anyone if you do." With that, he turns and walks out the door.

Paige begins to tremble in my arms. I tighten my grip on her very slightly – I'm still afraid to hurt her – but she pulls away and turns her body so she's practically sitting in my lap. I pull her into me and she wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face in my hair. Her sobs are heartbreaking, but thankfully short lived. After a few minutes she pulls away and kisses me soundly – I can taste the salt of her tears on her lips and I use my thumbs to brush away the wet trails on her cheeks. "You're ok, darling. I've got you. Anything you need, all you have to do is ask."

She smiles softly, eyes still swimming with unshed tears before pressing another gentle kiss to my lips. She wraps me in a tight hug and whispers a barely audible "I love you" in my ear before she pulls away. Once she is mostly calm again, she turns back to her previous position – her back firmly pressed against my front – and leans into me heavily. I revel in her touch and run my hands down her shoulders and arms as I press reassuring kisses to her hot skin. My mom moves from her chair and sits in front of us on the small coffee table. She reaches out and grabs out intertwined hands with her own.

"Paige. Look at me honey, please." Paige lifts her eyes to meet my mom's. "Tell me."


	14. Chapter 14: Past and Present

Chapter 14: Past and Present

"Dr. Jo and my dad grew up together."

Paige started to tell her story before hiccupping a few times and fighting to compose herself completely. I draw her back into me as firmly as I feel comfortable doing in her fragile state. To offset the physical hesitance, I kiss her neck and shoulders lightly and rub my hands along the tops of her thighs. After a few minutes, my actions seem to take effect and her body relaxes into mine. For a moment, she allows her head to tip back and rest on my shoulder – putting us cheek to cheek. I kiss the soft skin just beneath her cheekbone and move my way to her ear. "You're safe, darling. You don't have to tell us anything you don't want."

"No, Em. I want to. I think I need to." I nod in understanding before Paige pulls away slightly and connects our lips for a long moment. She positions herself firmly back against me, kissing the backs of my hands and resting our joined hands on her lap.

"Uncle Jo and my dad have been attached at the hip since they were kids. They grew up in a small town – a lot like Rosewood in a lot of ways. They went through school together and even roomed together through college at Princeton. That's where my parents met – my dad was very active in the church there and my mom sang in the church choir. They got married not long after. Uncle Jo was the best man at the wedding. After Dad graduated my parents moved here and Uncle Jo went off to Boston for med school. He ended up doing his residency in Philly and taking over as Chief of Surgery here a few years ago. I've known him my whole life – I mean, he's my godfather – and he's the one who convinced my parents to keep me around."

I start to grow anxious at her words. Paige is shaking slightly and I can't tell if it's out of fear or sadness. I make eye contact with Spencer, who has turned to face us from her spot on the floor. I use my eyes to point toward the blanket on the wheelchair behind her and she grabs it and stands. She smiles and wraps the heavy fabric around our combined bodies and Paige smiles, thanking her softly. Before sitting gingerly on the other end of the couch, Spencer leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of Paige's head and it warms my heart. I know Spence feels guilty about everything and I know Paige has already forgiven her- but the way Spencer is taking care of my love reassures me that she will always be safe, even when I can't be around. Paige grips my hand tightly, as though to calm both of us before continuing her story.

"Em? Do you remember when I first told you about coming out to my parents?"

Of course. Absolutely I did. I was so proud and torn that day. Maya was ignoring my calls and Paige was so confident. She was exactly what I'd wanted when we were together. I'll never forget that day. "Yeah, love. You told me they freaked out, but it wasn't as bad as you thought it would be."

I feel her shoulders shake against my chest as a dark chuckle reaches my ears. "Not exactly." She states flatly. "I said things didn't happen as I thought they would." Isn't that what I just said? What the hell is she getting at here?

"When I came out to my parents, I told my mom first. I thought it would be easier that way. Her reaction was what I expected – at least at first. She cried and told me how disappointed she was – how disgusted I made her feel. I thought she'd get used to the idea and we'd get through it, and it really did seem to be going that way for a week or so before we told my dad." She shudders and takes a deep breath, steeling herself for what she's about to say.

"My dad's first reaction was to yell. Then he punched a hole in the wall of the living room. Then he practically tore me off the couch by the front of my shirt and dragged me out the back door. He held me by the shirt and screamed in my face about how I wasn't his daughter anymore – about how no child of his could ever be infected by such a detrimental sin. He told me I wasn't welcome in his house and pushed me – hard – away from him. I was too close to the steps coming off the back deck and I fell down the stairs onto the pool deck. I was lucky – it snowed the night before and that broke my fall a little – but I hit my head on a chunk of ice and missed a couple of field hockey games."

Spencer cut her off. "Wait! That's why you missed those games? Coach told us you slipped on a patch of ice while you were out running."

"Well, that's what I told him, so it makes sense that's what you heard." My mind flashes back to our swim meet last year when Paige wiped out on her bike. Did she really? Or was that something like this too? I can feel her silent tears drip from her face and land on my forearms as I hold her close. I'll ask her later.

"Anyway. He was serious about disowning me, but mom – along with Uncle Jo – convinced him it would look better for the family and avoid a scandal at church if I stuck around as a model citizen before going off to a good college. He's always cared more about his image than anything else, so appealing to that side of him worked like a charm. We agreed that I would maintain at least an A- GPA; continue with swimming, field hockey, and soccer; and in a few years I'll be going off to the school of my choice, as long as it meets their approval. Once I turn 18, the inheritance my grandmother left me will mature and I'll have enough cash to pay for college and getting out of my parent's house. In exchange for my good behavior, I get to live in the pool house free of charge and they get to save face at church."

I'm dumbfounded, and really disappointed in myself for not noticing how much she has been going through. I look around the room quickly and notice that Spencer is crying – Hanna too, and Aria's eyes are wider than I've ever seen. My mom kneels in front of Paige and pulls her into a tight hug. After a moment, with some assistance, Paige stands in front of the couch and embraces my mother fully. The expressions crossing Mom's face are lightning quick – darting from pity to anger to embarrassment and back. I know she's thinking of the things she said when I came out, but she's been so good about everything. And so, so wonderful to Paige. I stand abrubtly and wrap my arms around Paige from behind, embracing my mom as well.

When it becomes apparent that Paige is starting to have a hard time breathing, I reluctantly pull back and return to the couch. This time, Paige positions herself in the corner. I sit next to her and she leans her back into the armrest and I pull her legs sideways over my lap. She reaches her hands to my face and cups my cheeks – her warm palms resting comfortingly on my jawline as she brushes my tears away with her thumbs. Am I crying? I try to focus on her eyes. She's staring at me with apprehension, almost as though she's afraid I might break. My vision is blurred by watery eyes and I rub my face and breath deep before meeting her gaze again. I'm so afraid for her. Whats going to happen now? She can't take care of herself like this? At least not until she can walk around freely again. God. How did I not know this was happening? She never talks about her parents or her home life. I've only spent time in the pool house – never the main house – but I thought her parents were just giving her space, like Spencer and the barn. I feel awful. I'm the worst girlfriend in the world. What the hell does she see in me?

"Em." Her voice is far away.

"Em. Look at me baby." I can feel her hands on my face. My skin tingles beneath her touch. Is my face asleep?

"Em. Don't do it. I can see those wheels turning in your head." Her voice is clearer now and almost…what is that? Playful? "This is not your fault. I didn't tell you about it cause I didn't want to burden you with my problems. Em, baby, I need you to look at me please." Her last words turn serious and I bring my worried eyes back to hers.

"Good, love. Listen to me very carefully, ok?" I nod. "Coming out to my parents is the most freeing thing I've ever done. You helped me get there by showing me how to be brave. I wanted to be brave for you, yes, but more than that I needed to be brave for myself. Deep down, I think I always knew it would come to this. My dad is a deacon for Christ's sake, how could it not? I'm not going to hide myself anymore and I certainly would never dream of hiding you – again. This temporary fix is more than ok with me because since I figured out who I really am, they haven't felt like my family. This is my life, and if they won't be a part of it with me living as I truly am, it's their loss. Like, seriously their loss – cause I am fucking awesome" Her voice turns playful again and she sing-songs the end of her sentence. I nod again and smile at her confidence.

She pulls me into a kiss and I feel it everywhere. It's deep and loving – it's showing me a flash of our future. I never want to be without her – I can't. This is my life and I want Paige by my side every step of the way. Her lips are soft against mine and we begin to lose ourselves in the kiss – forgetting about the rest of the people in the room. I dart my tongue out and lick lightly at her lips. She opens her mouth and meets my tongue with her own before pushing hard against me and kissing me deeply – thrusting her tongue out and pushing our dance into my mouth. I reach out and slide my hands across the side of her neck, pulling her to me tightly and returning her kiss with as much love and intensity as is coursing through my body in this momrnt. After some time – a measurement I can't even begin to calculate – I become aware of a light snickering and the clearing of someone's throat in front of me. I reluctantly pull back from the kiss – pressing a soft kiss to Paige's nose as I retreated – and opened my eyes slowly.

Hanna is grinning like the Cheshire cat from her place in the chair across from us. My mom is turned facing the door. I can tell by the flush on the back of her neck she's blushing furiously – but I admire the fact that she let us have our moment and didn't try to break it up. I'll have to thank her for that later.

"Mom?" I call out quietly. She starts to turn around again, but stops herself. "No worries, we're done for now." I can't help but laugh as she visibly relaxes at my statement before turning around to face us once again.

"Ok, girls. I'm going to give you that one, but please try to contain yourseves around me in the future, deal?" I look at my mother, then to Paige. We both smile and nod.

"Good. Alright, well I think we need to work a few things out. Paige? I think it might be in your best interests to move in to our home." Wait, what? Did my mom just say what I think she…

"Um. Wow. Wasn't expexting that." Clearly Paige shares my confusion on this one.

"I guess I just sort of blurted that one out, huh?" We both just stare at Mom dumbly. "what I mean to say is this. I think you should come stay with us while you recover. You are welcome to stay as long as you'd like, but I want you to be around people who care for you and can help you during your recovery. It might be a little tough – at least until you're out of the wheelchair – but we can make it work. Obviously you'll be out of school for a little while, maybe we can find you a tutor so you don't fall behind. Emily and I are both home in the evenings, but unfortunately she has school and I have work during the day. Also I'm supposed to be going to Texas for a couple weeks very soon, but I can always cancel that." Mom is ranting now. Her words are stringing together in ways that no longer make sense to anyone outside of her brain and my head already hurts trying to comprehend the things she's already said.

She wants Paige to live with us? Not that I oppose that plan in any way, but there is nowhere for her to sleep on the first floor and she's in no shape to be sleeping on anyone's couch. Even once she's healed, we don't have a guest room upstairs, so she'd be living in my room. I love the idea of falling asleep with her and waking to her every morning, but area we ready for that? Is that moving too fast? Before I fall too deeply in to my doubts and concerns, I see Spencer stand from her seat rather dramatically.

"Guys!" Spencer speaks just loudly enough to break through everyone's muttering voices. "I have an idea."


	15. Chapter 15: Still Standing

Quick Notes: I want to thank you all for being so patient with me, I'm sorry it's taken so long to update. Life sometimes gets in the way. Things have been awful and amazing – completely exhausting and strangely invigorating. I'm glad to be back and I'm excited to hear what you think of the story as it progresses from here on out.

The rest of this story is outlined and most of the chapters are already written (at least partially). I really hope I haven't lost too many of you in my absence and I'm looking forward to posting regular updates again.

**Chapter 15 – Still Standing**

"Hey Spence?"

"Yeah, Paige? What's up?" Spencer's voice carries from beyond a tall stack of cardboard boxes in my bedroom. Or what used to be my bedroom. After today it'll just be empty space in my parents' pool house.

"Thanks for doing this. Thanks for everything." I'll never be able to thank her enough, she's been a godsend since we left the hospital yesterday and I'm at a loss. She was never even nice to me before, and now we're going to be housemates.

* * *

_"Guys!" Spencer speaks just loudly enough to break through everyone's muttering voices. "I have an idea."_

_I don't think anyone else heard Spencer's voice ring out through the room. Nobody but me. I catch her eye to let her know I'm listening. From the way Emily's head snaps toward Spencer's, I now know she heard her too, but the rest of the room is still in chaos. I look intently at Spencer, trying to make eye contact so she knows I'm listening, but before she looks back in my direction Emily's voice shouts above the rest._

_"Hey! Will everyone just calm down, please?"_

_Four sets of eyes automatically land on Emily as she settles back down on the couch next to me and gestures to Spencer to continue. Waiting a moment for everyone to calm down and give her their attention, she finally begins to speak._

_"I have an idea. I don't know how much everyone is going to like it, but I'm sure you'll let me know." She looks around the room briefly before continuing. "I moved back into the barn – you all know that already - and I have an extra bedroom. On the first floor." She pauses, looking uncertain, before sitting on the table in front of me and grabbing the hand that isn't holding Emily's. "Paige, you can come live with me. I mean – if you're ok with that."_

_Pam chimes in from her seat across from us. "That still doesn't solve the issue of her being alone all day while she's healing. She's going to need some help for at least a couple of weeks until her ribs are healed enough that she can get around by herself."_

_"Actually, Mrs. Fields, I have a solution for that too." Spencer grins a little as she explains her plan. "I've either already taken or am taking all of the classes Paige is in right now. I'm the perfect student, really. I can take a couple of weeks off and tutor her at home. That way she won't fall behind or be alone. I'm sure my parents and the school would be ok with it. Of course I'll make sure before we do anything, but I really think this might be the answer." She looks back to me bashfully. "What do you say? Roomies?"_

* * *

"You need to stop thanking me, Paige" she says flatly before holding up an old box from under the bed. "Are you taking this?" I look at the box for a moment before doing a quick mental inventory of its contents.

"No, that one can go in the trash pile." That one holds close to ten years' worth of Sunday school papers.

"Ok" she adds it to the trash pile "What about this one?"

The box she's holding now is loaded with sentiment. It's a small wooden chest – my father gave it to me when I was young and it holds most of the things I hold valuable. There is a pile of old letters from my grandma; a bunch of knickknacks and junk toys from when I was a kid; the letter Alison sent me that was supposed to have been from Emily; and the mask I was wearing the night of the masquerade. The box is more of a symbol than anything, but part of me is unwilling to let it go.

"Yeah, just stick it in one of the boxes with books and stuff." My voice wavers a bit as I speak, but I try and recover quickly before going back to my task of sorting through the large pile of clothes on my bed. It's a slow and painful process, but I can't let Spencer and Emily do everything for me. Besides, other than the things I wear all the time, all of these clothes are going into the donation boxes. I wonder what my parents will think when they get home and all my stuff is gone. I wonder if they'll even notice.

"Hey guys! How's it going in here?" Emily bursts in the room like a ray of sunshine, chasing all thoughts of my parents away as she walks up to me and sits on the edge of the bed. She faces me and takes both of my hands before leaning in and kissing me soundly. "Hey, love" she smiles as she breaks the kiss "I think we're just about done out there".

I give her a quick smile before answering. "I think we're just about done in here too. Spencer has managed to clear off my desk, bookshelf, under my bed, and the junk in the back of my closet while I've packed this box of clothes to take." I look at the one box of clothes on the floor near the wheel of my chair and the irritation starts to build within me again. "Yep, you guys packed my whole fucking house, and I packed this one box."

"Paige, honey. Look at me for a sec, ok?" I very reluctantly look up into her concerned eyes. Damnit, she gets me every time. "We packed up your records, your electronics, and your dishes. That's hardly your entire fucking house. Besides, we're just trying to help get you out of here as quickly as possible."

"The sooner, the better" I mutter as she kisses my temple and ruffles my already messy hair.

"Are these the donation boxes?" She points to a mountain of boxes on the other side of the bed. I nod and shrug at her look of surprise. "Are you sure you don't want any of this. There's a lot of stuff here." She picks up a stuffed giraffe and a bag of knit scarves from the top of one of the boxes. "You sure?"

"Yes, just get rid of it all." I fear the frustration is starting to show in my voice. I look to Emily with hesitation before asking "Can you help me outside? I think I need some air."

"Of course, darling. Let's head out." She walks behind me and grabs the handles on the back of the chair before turning and walking out of the bedroom – pushing the wheelchair through the living room and out onto the patio. "Where do you want to go?" she asks.

"Um, anywhere is good, Em. How about just over there by the pool?" I point my finger to indicate a small shaded area on the pool deck. One of my favorite spots to be alone when I was coming to terms with my new life as the McCullers black sheep. As we slow to a stop on the pool deck, I gingerly get up from the chair and settle down onto the deck of the pool. I stretch my legs out in front of me as I watch Emily lower her body down next to mine. I reach my hand down and thread my fingers through the cool water, wishing more than anything I could just dive in and swim for hours – it's my go to way to relieve stress and I'm sure it'd feel amazing right about now. Emily must sense it too. Without a word, she reaches for my feet and takes off my shoes and socks. She removes her own just after and lowers her legs and feet over the edge of the pool and into the water. I do the same and lean into her body next to mine. She really is wonderful. "Thanks, love." I say, leaning over to give her a grateful kiss. "Thanks for sticking with me today – and every day. I'm sorry things got so screwed up. I sort of have a knack for making that happen."

She looks at me with sad loving eyes before scooting over enough that we are touching along our sides. She presses a kiss to my cheek and wraps her arm around my shoulders, bringing her free hand into my lap to twine her fingers with mine. Our legs splash in the water and if the circumstances were different, it would be a perfect moment. I lay my head on her shoulder and let out a sigh. Even with all that we've had to go through – with all the terrible things that have happened between us – we're still here, we're still together, and we're not going anywhere.

We sit content for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company and taking in the nice day. But I can feel that Emily has questions that only I can answer. I don't know if I'm entirely ready to delve into the sordid history of Paige McCullers – but for Emily, anything. I give her hand a squeeze and ask without moving my head. "What's on your mind, Em?"

I feel her body stiffen slightly against me and her arm pulls me in a little tighter. A soft kiss is pressed against my hair before she begins to speak. Her words are soft and barely audible. "Paige, darling? What happened here? How come you never told me about your parents?" I knew it wasn't meant to be confrontational, but I couldn't help but hear the frustration and hurt in her voice. I kept her away from this part of my life for so long, but now has to be the time. She's ready to know, so I need to be ready to tell her.

"Em, I." I stumble over words, trying to formulate them just right. "I guess I didn't tell you about what happened here because I didn't want you to think it was your fault." Well, that didn't come out right. I pick my head up off of her shoulder and kiss her gently, hoping to stave off any misinterpretations. "I didn't mean it like that, baby. Just let me…I'm having some trouble putting it into words." I stare into her eyes helplessly, begging silently for her mercy and understanding.

She reaches her hand to my cheek, running her thumb over my lips. I kiss her finger lightly and lean into her touch. "Don't worry about me, ok? Just tell me however you can. I'll even sit her quietly until you're finished." She flashes me a smile and holds me tight as she waits for me to continue. God I love her. I have to tell her before I start.

"I love you, Emily. More than anything." She beams at me and I kiss her soundly. "Ok, let's see. I guess I'll start from the beginning. It's you, Em. It's always been you." I lean into her. "I started to figure out who I was a long, long time ago. I always suspected that I might be gay – or at least a little…different – but the first time I saw you I knew for sure. I didn't know if I liked girls or if I just liked you, but I knew it wouldn't make a difference because you were the only one I wanted. Last year when we were finally…together…something clicked for me. I was happy, for the first time in my life I was truly content and I couldn't' handle it. You left – rightfully and completely understandably – and I realized that the only way I could be true to myself, and be true to you, would be to live my life honestly. A few days after we stopped seeing each other I came out to my parents. It was sudden, and probably not the most tactical way to approach things, but I needed to prove to myself that I could be worthy of you. You were so brave and so inspirational, and I needed to know that I could be that strong." I look up into her eyes and see them brimming with tears. I hate to think my next words will make those tears fall with sadness.

"When I came out, it was just like I told you guys in the hospital. I told my mom and she cried – she told me all about how I was ruining my life, and ruining hers and my father's by showing the world how they'd failed as parents. I sat there and let her yell at me, I figured it was easier than blowing up and losing it all. Then when she was done, we went our separate ways and she never brought it up again. About a week later, I decided to tell my dad – against her wishes completely. I think she'd gotten to the point where she thought I'd eventually marry a man and have woman mistresses to "tide me over". I told my dad and he got so…violent and angry. Much angrier than I'd ever seen him before. He punched a hole in the wall and practically chased me out of the house. He threw me out – literally – into the snow and I slipped on some ice. I walked to the emergency room that night holding my jacket to the cut on my head so I didn't bleed all over myself. They didn't even notice."

At this, Emily let out a strangled whimper. Her eyes are freely crying now and she's burying her head into the crook of my neck – pressing soft kisses to the skin there to try and comfort me as I tell my story. I am so grateful to have her with me now.

"When I got to the ER, the doctors were going to call my parents and I told them not to bother. The doctor who stitched me up that night was going to call social services on them before Dr. Jo walked by and saw me sitting there. I told him what happened and why, and all he did was take over my care and tell me I shouldn't be so selfish. I was too tired to argue, so I spent the night in a spare bed at the hospital with the nurses waking me up every fifteen minutes to make sure I wasn't dead from the concussion. He took me home the next day and my dad told me I wasn't his daughter anymore and I had no right to live in his house. I went upstairs to pack some of my things. I don't know where I was going to go, honestly, but getting out seemed like the only option. I heard my parents and Dr. Jo talking downstairs. When I came down with my bag, my mom had me follow her out to the back yard. I figured she was going to make me leave that way so nobody could see. Instead she walked me to the pool house and told me the key was hidden in the planter on the deck. That was the last full conversation I had with her." I sigh as I reached this point in my story, the next part will be hard for her to hear.

"The next day, I got a call from Dr. Jo asking me to meet him in his office at the hospital. My father was there too, but he didn't say a word. He explained that I was being allowed to live here in exchange for my good behavior and the maintenance of my good academic and athletic reputations. If I caused trouble or sullied my family name in any way, I'd have to find another place to live. So I sucked it up and crawled back to this place and I've been here ever since." I shrug, thinking about how horrible and hopeless it all felt so many months ago.

"But now. Now I'm happier than I've ever been. You came back into my life and everything seemed to brighten overnight. All that pain I felt and the loneliness of so much time on my own was completely worth it, because you came back to me in the end. I was strong enough for you, finally. And you could see it. You saw the strength and courage in me nobody else could. When I told you all those months ago that I came out to my parents I knew I loved you. I knew when you smiled up at me that I'd wait for you forever. Lucky for me you didn't keep me waiting for too long. Coming out was one of the worst experiences of my life – but it was worth it. Being with you is definitely the best, and I'd never have gotten here if I didn't go through all of that bullshit with my parents."

I look up one last time to see the glint of shock and love on Emily's face. Her eyes are still streaming tears, but I can't tell what emotion is driving them. She presses a firm kiss to my lips and opens her mouth to speak. "Paige, my darling girl. You are the bravest person I've ever met." She kisses me again. "I'm sorry you had to deal with all of it, and I wish I could have helped you through – that you could have trusted me enough back then to come to me with all of this – but I understand why you didn't. You are the best thing in my life and I can't believe how close I was to losing you. I didn't even realize how bad things were for you. I was a terrible friend and I'm so sorry."

I stare into her eyes and shake my head at her apology. "Don't' say you're sorry, just be here with me now, ok?" I see her nod and I bring our lips together again, this time with more feeling and passion. I kiss her with everything I have – with everything I am and I can feel in the way she kisses me back she can feel it too. We're going to be ok, as long as we're together.


	16. Chapter 16: Nice to Forget

Quick Notes: Thank you for your reviews and reads. I'm really relieved to see that not everyone gave up on me and this story when I was slacking on the posts. I hope to make it up to you all. Please read and review – it seriously does make my day. I'm overseas working right now and I don't have much else going on besides work and waiting for your reviews. I'm hoping to make it to 100 with this post *crosses fingers*

Chapter 16 – Nice to Forget

"Coffee or tea today?"

I look up from my spot at the kitchen island to meet Spencer's eyes. "Umm, coffee. I could use the energy boost." I give her a slight smile of thanks before going back to my schedule for the day. "Do we really have to do trig today?" I ask in the direction of Spencer's back – she's already turned back to the coffee pot. "I fucking hate trig" I try to speak the words lowly enough that Spencer can't hear me, but her scoff tells me I've failed. My ribs are mostly healed, but the barstools at the island in the kitchen are still rough on my posture. I subtly adjust my position without Spencer noticing – I'll end up doing homework in bed all day if she thinks I'm in pain.

"I know you hate it, but we can't put it off forever." Spencer walks over to the toaster to put our breakfast – bagels, toast, and frozen waffles – on to cook before grabbing the cream cheese, jelly, butter, and syrup from the fridge. "I gave you almost two weeks with no math – now we have to spend the whole day catching up or you're going to fall behind. I can't have that happen on my watch just because you're feeling lazy about it." Spencer smiles at me – somewhat pitying - before leaning against the counter. "You doing ok?" Shit. I've got to stop squirming on these stools or I'll be on bed rest again.

"Yeah. Fine." I say, picking up my math schedule to grumble again before dropping my head into my hands and letting out a sigh – just so she knows how much I am not looking forward to today's study session.

I hear the toaster pop and Spencer's hiss as she puts the hot food onto a plate. "You know we can't keep eating like this, right?"

I laugh into my hands before picking my head up at the smell of delicious bread products being placed right in front of me. I reach out and grab half a sesame bagel and spread some cream cheese on it. God that looks delicious. "We don't eat like this every day. I just wanted the extra carbs since today is going to suck so bad." I try to reason with Spencer, but she just laughs lightly. "Besides, I like that I can actually eat whatever I want now. I don't have to worry about my dad telling me how fat I'm getting or how I'll sink to the bottom of the pool if I eat too much." I know the comment was kind of a mood killer – I didn't even mean to say it. It just sort of came out. Deciding to just ignore Spencer's concerned look and move on, I take a large bite of the bagel, probably getting cream cheese all over my face. "I fucking love bread" I proclaim with my eyes closed and a mouth full of food.

"Lovely" Spencer says with a laugh as she walks over to the coffee pot and pours four large mugs – setting them all on the island counter before returning to her seat next to me. I prepare my coffee with the perfect amounts of cream and sugar, then brace myself for the typical morning noise that's about to take over our comfy home. No less than a minute later, Aria and Hanna come bursting through the door.

"I swear to you, if that woman said that to me I'd take the money and then slap her in the face. God, what a bitch!" I watch as the two make their way into the barn and over to the galley kitchen. "Ezra should have backed you up and stood up to that nasty woman."

"Hanna! That's his mother. I can't very well expect him to choose me over her." Aria responds to Hanna with exasperation and a little bit of resentment. "As much as I wish he would" I barely catch her words as she settles onto a stool on the opposite of me from Spencer.

"Well, good morning to you too." I say with a chuckle as Hanna hops up onto the countertop and takes a long sip of coffee from my cup. "She did pour you your own, you know?" I point to the two untouched coffee cups next to Hanna's leg.

She just shrugs and takes another drink from my cup. "I like the way you fix it. I can't ever get mine to taste as good as when you make it."

With a huff, I grab one of the untouched coffees and start to fix it – again. "I would just make yours for you, you know?" I say more to myself than to her before I grab the cream and sugar. When I'm done, I slide them over to Aria on my left. "Trouble in paradise?"

For a moment, I'm afraid I've said something drastically wrong. Her big bambi eyes actually start to water for a moment before I start apologizing. "Oh geez, I didn't mean to upset you or anything. I'm so sorry, what can I do? Please don't cry. I hate it when girls cry. Goddamnit, McCullers!" I scold myself and go back to burying my head in my hands. Things are always easier when I don't talk.

Hanna laughs a little and I hear her shuffle on the counter before I feel her hand ruffle my hair. "Paige, don't worry about it. Aria is just being a bit dramatic today. Nothing to worry about." She reaches for a piece of toast and takes a big bite. "I swear, sometimes her relationship is gayer than yours…so much drama" She rolls her eyes as she chews. Aria and Spencer both look at her with wide eyes and worried expressions. "What?" she says, obviously confused "Was that rude or something?" I look from her unsympathetic expression to the horrified faces of the other two girls and can't help but laugh.

"Nope. Not rude at all." I continue to laugh and revel in having breakfast with the girls. I've never had friends like this. I've never felt so comfortable in my own home before. I actually go to sleep each night looking forward to breakfast and the insanity that comes with sharing it with these three girls. It's nice to be wanted. I can't wait for this week to be over, though. Emily's doing some extra swim practices in the mornings for a special meeting with a scout. It's great that she's being so actively pursued, but it sucks that I miss out on my early morning Em time.

Spencer stands from her spot at the island and stars making her way upstairs to her part of the barn to shower and get dressed. "Alright, Mc-C. Finish up that coffee and massive plate carbs, we have some trigonometry to do!"

I groan loudly let my forehead fall to the countertop. "Ouch, math with a Hastings. Have a good time with that one." Hanna hops off the island and ruffles my hair again – I don't understand why she does it, but it's strangely endearing. She grabs a folder out of her bag and hands it to me as I pick my head up to meet her eyes. "Here's the new stuff. Nothing exciting – as usual. I think we're starting some gigantic research paper thing in English. I'm not positive, I wasn't really paying attention." I grunt at her in thanks before climbing off of my own stool with a small wince.

"Are the ribs still bothering you?" I look to Aria, who hasn't spoken much this morning.

"They're fine. Must have just slept wrong or something." I say with a shrug. "Hey, I'm sorry for what I said earlier. I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, Paige. Don't worry about it. My relationship is just…complicated, and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier." She looks as though she's about to start rambling when Hanna comes up behind her.

"I'm sure you'll be just fine, half-pint. Come on, we have to get to school before we're both late – again." She starts pulling Aria in the direction of the door. "We'll be back with Em after school. I expect snacks!" she calls out as they both leave and shut the door behind them. I walk over and click the deadbolt into place – it's more a habit now than anything, but still. I hear the water turn off from Spencer's shower upstairs and curse under my breath.

I'm just about to my own bedroom door when I hear her call down the stairs. "Fifteen minutes!"

"Ugh, fuck my life" I half-whine as I make my way into my room to get dressed.

* * *

"Spence, please. I'm never going to understand all of this – I'm never going to need it either. Can't we just not, and say we did?" I'm practically begging for relief at this point. Trig is the worst subject on the planet.

"Sorry, Mc-C. We're almost done anyway, stop your complaining. Just finish up this problem set and we'll call it a day." I look at the clock and am temporarily relieved. We've only been at this for three hours. It feels like I've been staring at numbers for the past two weeks. I roll my eyes at her and she laughs it off – like usual – before heading back to the kitchen for more coffee. I swear that girl has coffee in her blood. "You want anything?" She calls back to me as she pours coffee into her cup. I look at the clock again and think back to this morning.

"Can you grab me a glass of water, please? I think it's time for my meds." I get up from my chair at the small breakfast table we use for tutoring every afternoon and walk over to my room. I grab the pill box Emily got me – yes, she got me one of those pill boxes that are labeled morning/noon/evening so I don't lose track – and grab the pills labeled "Tuesday, noon" before heading back to the common area. I can't help but laugh at the insane twist in my life yet again. I went from being a star swimmer and top prospect for a college scholarship to a normal teenage girl whose girlfriend sorts her medication into an elderly person's pill box. Nice job, McCullers.

I sit back at the table in a huff – a little too roughly for my ribs' liking – and toss the pills into my mouth before taking a healthy swallow to wash them down. "Thanks, Spence." I say to the girl sitting beside me before turning my attention back to the problem set on the page. I finish the last three and slide the paper over to Spencer for review. "Well?" I ask nervously after a few minutes. I'm really ready to be done with this.

"Well. I'd say you've got it. We can go over another set for review if you'd like…"

"No!" I say, almost too eagerly. "I mean, I think I'm done for now, thanks." She looks at me for a moment before laughing at the near-panic look on my face.

"Don't worry so much, Paige. I won't make you do any more math today. You're all caught up." She closes the books and puts my work back in the folder to be sent to the school. "Bad TV or music today?" She asks as she moves into the living area and curls up on the couch.

I think for a minute, not really loving either idea. "Music, I guess." I say, without any conviction. I grab a book off the shelf and prop my feet up on the coffee table. Ten pages in, I notice Spencer's fallen fast asleep. I very quietly and carefully get up from my chair, put the book away, and grab my shoes. I manage to slip out without her stirring at all and start my way down the road toward the school. I need to see Emily. Maybe we can walk home from school together for a change.


	17. Chapter 17: Here I Am

Quick Notes: I'd like to send a special thanks to the people who post reviews for almost every chapter – literarylesbian37, cici, glorymania, and Jes Angell. You guys are awesome and I look forward to logging on and finding new comments from you. It makes my day – really – so thank you. Also, thank you for helping me reach my 100 review goal! It was really exciting.

This is the first in a string of Paily-rific (and some pretty spicy) chapters. More updates soon to come!

Chapter 17 – Here I Am

"Whoa there, Ems! Take it easy now." I swear to God if he sneers in my direction one more time, he's going to need surgery to find his balls. I push him a little more firmly against the locker and practically growl at him as he stares down his nose at me. "You wouldn't want Tamborelli to walk up to this scene, now would you? I can just picture the look of glee as he watches you pack your locker and kicks your ass out of this school for good." That's it. That smarmy little smirk appears on his face again and my knee jerks up without permission – catching him square in the crotch and bringing him to his knees. I pull back to hit him and feel a hand close over my own. I turn slowly – expecting to see the vice principal standing over me with that familiar disapproving scowl – but it's Mr. Fitz, Ezra, preventing me from knocking Noel Kahn's teeth out. The hallways were deserted – only the last stragglers from team practices were left in the building. Mr. Fitz came out of nowhere.

I look him square in the eyes, almost pleading, before he drops my hand and looks to the smug boy on the floor. He's now sitting on his ass up against the lockers with his legs spread and jutting out into the hallway. Mr. Fitz murmurs "Ms. Fields, meet me in my classroom please" before walking away cautiously.

Noel begins to chuckle before singing "school's out for-ever" and I turn to him and place the ball of my foot – heavily encased in a leather boot – with the barest amount of pressure at the apex of his legs. I lean down closer to his face, letting the force on my foot increase as I bend down until he's practically whimpering before me.

"If I ever hear those words come out of your mouth again, I'll make sure you can't procreate. I'm done letting you and your greasy friends spread lies and hate all over this town. I'm sure you'll have plenty of bullshit to talk about without having to bring me, Paige, or my friends into it." I start to draw my foot back as I hear it. It's barely intelligible enough to understand, but I've been waiting for it all day.

"Easy,_** killer**_, I was just joking around." His voice is full of mocking and I can't stand to listen for a second longer. My foot leaves its place for a mere second to come up off the ground before I bring it down again to stomp satisfyingly on Noel Kahn's junk. I hear his pathetic cries as I turn and walk away – thinking only about how I hope he won't be able to walk for a week and will have to explain missing practice because his balls are injured. God I hope that happens.

Instead of making a stop in Mr. Fitz's room, I bypass it and give him a small wave on my way past. If nothing else, he understands what it's been like from talking to Aria. I really don't need his pity right now. I walk straight out of the front doors of the school and make a beeline for the bike rack.

I've been riding Paige's bike everywhere – I can't bear to be in my car with its bloodstained back seat. I tried everything I know to get the stains out, but nothing has worked so far. I even attempted a few home remedies I found online, but nothing. I think I'm going to take Spencer up on her offer to have the car detailed. Short of re-upholstering the seats, I don't know what else to try. I unlock the bike and walk it to the edge of the sidewalk. I'm just about to swing my leg over the bar when I see her standing near the picnic tables.

God, she's beautiful. I could just look at her all day. For the first time in months, she looks relaxed and completely free from the daily nightmare our lives became after the lighthouse. She looks more or less healed – and to the casual observer, the only remnant of our ordeal would be the tattered cast on her arm. I know her ribs still bother her if she moves in certain ways, but she's gotten really good at hiding that from everyone else. Even her wrist has become more of a hindrance than a pain. Physical therapy starts next week when she trades in that cast for a brace. I trace the outline of her body – her hair is glowing in the late afternoon sun, her posture is relaxed, her clothes are casual and comfortable, even her body seems at ease. Maybe it the fresh air, or the walk she took, but she looks so secure and safe. Happy. I give her a broad smile and walk up to greet her with a big hug.

"Hey, baby. How was your day?" I don't answer at first, happy to have her in my arms. Wrapped in Paige's embrace is the only place I feel truly safe and after my encounter in the hallway I need the reassurance before I can push those thoughts away completely. I revel in her touch before pulling back just enough to connect our lips. I feel her smile into the kiss and hold her a little tighter before releasing her and taking her hand in mine.

"It's way better now" I say, leaning over to give her another quick kiss before steadying her bike in my free hand. "Walk me home?"

"That was the plan" she winks at me and I can't help but laugh. God, she's so good to me. I lace our fingers together and start walking back toward Spencer's. As I instinctively remember where we're walking, a thought occurs to me.

"How'd you get away? I know Spencer wouldn't let you leave the house in the middle of the afternoon by yourself." I'm almost scared to know the answer. The last time Paige left the house without telling Spencer, she'd only been gone for twenty minutes before the paranoid girl called the cops. It was pretty embarrassing to explain that she'd only walked downtown to see me at work at get them both some coffee. Spencer had been apologetic for freaking out so badly – but she made sure Paige knew it would happen again in a heartbeat if she ever did it again.

"I just walked right out the front door. Don't worry, Em, it'll be fine." She gives my hand a reassuring squeeze as we make our way down the street.

I smile and give her a quick kiss on the cheek, trying hard to maintain my balance as I walked the bike down the road beside me. I teetered slightly, but Paige's firm grip on my hand helped steady me before I wavered too much. She definitely keeps me grounded – in more ways than one. "So, how was math day?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

She makes the most adorable disgusted face before shaking her head and letting out a groan. "You knew!" she cries out, realizing I had advanced notice of her pull math schedule. "You knew and you didn't prepare me for the mathematics hell I went through today!" She's trying to give off the air of being completely offended, but I can see the sly smile hiding behind her fake shocked look. I bite my lip and smile at her – just like magic the pretense leaves her face and she's left just looking at me with a slight grin. "It was fine, really. I hate it with a fiery passion, but it's done now." She pulls us to a stop and her look turns serious for a moment. I start to worry, and it shows on my face.

Paige turns to face me fully as we turn onto the quiet street we all live on. She stops and I feel her hands come up to cup my cheeks – her casted palm rough on my skin as her soft fingertips trace the outline of my jawbone. The look in her eyes is indescribable.

"I missed you." She speaks the words with simplicity that speaks volumes. She missed me is code for a million things – but it's all I need to hear. She says "I missed you" and I hear how much she loves me; how much she wants me; how she never wants to leave my side – and wouldn't unless she's forced to. I can hear the tenderness and devotion in her words and I can only pray my voice can convey half as much feeling as I lean into her touch.

"I missed you too." I say, hoping the multitude of meanings I intended came across. One smile from Paige and I know my words hit their mark. She pulls me in for a kiss and I'm suddenly unaware of where we are. We could be in the middle of the woods or the middle of Times Square and all I could sense is her. This is my favorite kind of Paige kiss – completely and utterly all encompassing, like we're the only two people on the planet. I lean into her body, letting the bike fall onto the grass beside the sidewalk as I run my hand up her side to settle firmly on the small of her back. Her mouth feels amazing against my own and I feel her heart rate pick up as I nip at her bottom lip. She lets out the most delicious soft gasp and I feel my body flush with heat. I respond with a moan of my own – and just as I'm about to suggest we take this somewhere more private – I hear the sirens.

I pull back from the kiss at the intensity of the noise – the all too familiar wailing from the police car becomes almost ear drum-shattering as it blows right by us and into the Hasting's driveway two houses down. I look to Paige to see her eyes widen as she lets out a deep breath. I grab her hand and we make our way quickly to the barn where Spencer is ranting to the cop who just passed us.

As we walk up behind Spencer, I catch the last part of her impassioned speech.

"Look, asshole. I know how much you hate that you actually have to DO your job sometimes, but she's gone and neither of them is answering their phones. Considering that they were both KIDNAPPED and almost murdered a few months ago, maybe you should put a little more effort into the finding out where they are and if they're safe!"

"Miss Hastings, please calm down and tell me what happened." The officer's monotone expression clearly displayed that he had no interest whatsoever in finding either of us. I'm almost disappointed that our sudden appearance is going to ruin the moment for Spence. Since the lighthouse, she's been furious at the Rosewood Police Department and their complete lack of caring and common sense. "Oh look at who we have here." I hear him say, the tone in his voice eerily close to Noel Kahn's sneer in the hallway. I fight the urge to bring him to his knees.

"Yeah, we're here." Paige speaks up from beside me as she makes her way to Spencer, draping her arm over the angry girl's shoulder. "But Hastings makes a good point. What if we weren't? What if we were being held hostage by a deranged madman who happened to like killing girls when he didn't get his own way? I mean – been there done that for us at this point – but don't you think you should at least take the threat seriously in this town?" She gives him a "what the fuck" look and he flips his notebook closed before making his way back to the police cruiser and backing out of the driveway without a word.

"Nice guy." Paige turns hopefully to Spencer with an apologetic smile and a shrug. I'm almost afraid to watch as Spencer starts to turn red.

"Where the fuck did you go!? You've been gone at least two hours! I woke up on the couch an hour after I sat down and you were gone –no note, no phone call, no nothing! I tried calling and your phone rang and rang and rang – in your bedroom." Her voice gets very low and it almost seems as though she's trying not to cry. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself before turning to me. "And you. I called you too. Where the fuck is your phone?" I suddenly feel like a four year old being chastised, but I know she's not messing around. I pull my phone out of my backpack – still on silent from being in school and then swim practice all day. I unlock it and see that I have seventeen missed calls and twelve unanswered texts from Spencer.

I look back to her bashfully. "Sorry, Spence. I still had it on silent from school." I duck my head a bit before walking past them both and into the barn. I settle down on the couch and listen to their muttered argument outside the door before they both join me in the living room with apologetic looks on their faces. Spencer takes her spot in the reading chair near the fireplace where she picks up her book and pointedly looks away from us.

Paige lies on the couch and puts her head in my lap. She does this every afternoon when I get home from school. I like that she feels she can finally relax enough to nap when I'm around, but I still feel bad that she isn't comfortable enough to sleep when I'm not here. "Sleepy, darling?" I ask, though I already know the answer.

Paige yawns and turns on to her back. I pull the blanket from the back of the couch to cover her and she leans her head and shoulders heavily on my legs, blinking up at me with a tired smile. "I love you, Em."

I thread my fingers through her hair and lean down to kiss her lips softly before dropping a lingering kiss to her forehead. "I love you too, Paige." I smile at her and sit back up in my seat, pulling out my book for English class and settling comfortably as Paige burrows her face into my stomach. "Get some rest, love." I say quietly as I open my book and begin to read aloud.

I speak the words softly as I run my fingers through Paige's fine hair and she sleeps soundly pressed up against me. It has become our daily routine when I get back from school and join the girls for the night. I've read the book before, but Paige hasn't – and despite being asleep she still manages to absorb the majority of what I read to her in these moments. I near the end of the chapter and lean down to kiss her hair, speaking the last line clearly – just for her.

"He knew that when he kissed this girl, and forever wed his unutterable visions to her perishable breath, his mind would never romp again like the mind of God. So he waited, listening for a moment longer to the tuning-fork that had been struck upon a star. Then he kissed her. At his lips' touch she blossomed for him like a flower and the incarnation was complete."


	18. Chapter 18: The Team

Quick Notes: I'm back from the business trip from hell and had the opportunity to flesh out a couple of chapters on my 22 hour flight. More updates are soon to come! Thanks for reading and as always, let me know what you think!

Chapter 18: The Team

She's struggling. I can see it so plainly from across the room. I watch her shift her position on her chair as she and my mom talk about her studies and swimming – sometimes they even talk about my dad and our relationship. But she's having a rough night. The signs are all there and as I take in the scene before me I want to kick everyone out and pull my girl into my arms. She needs comfort and caring more than she needs our big Friday night family dinner.

Spencer and I move comfortably around one another in the galley kitchen – I'm chopping vegetables at the island, looking out over the open living area. Her hands pluck bowls from around my cutting board as I watch Paige in my periphery. As much as I'd love to stare at her all night, I need to concentrate enough to not cut off my fingers. Hanna and Mrs. Marin make their grand entrance – those two usually keep things light and entertaining. My mom and Mrs. Marin say hello just as Mrs. Hastings walks in the room with a bottle of wine. At least I'll get Paige back now.

As if on cue, Paige meets my gaze from across the room. She gives me a sharp smile and gets up from her spot on the couch. Her face flashes with pain – not terrible, body wracking pain, but a wince of healing pain. I can't stand to see her hurt. I open my mouth to call out to her just as I feel the sharp sting of the knife blade over the top of my finger. Goddamnit. I look down at my hand and for a fraction of a second I think I made the whole thing up. There is no blood, no obvious sign of injury. But the knife is sharp and though there is a delay – the pain hits and the cut starts bleeding before I can even figure out exactly where on my finger it happened. I chance a look back to Paige, praying she didn't just see me do that, but she's already halfway to my side with a look of shock and panic on her face. I bite my bottom lip and make a beeline for Paige's room behind me. I slip into her bathroom and run my hand under the cold tap.

"Em, baby? Are you alright? I saw…"she trails off as she sees the blood trickle from my finger and down the drain. It's not a bad cut – it's not even bleeding that much. But after everything, the sight of blood still makes her pretty nervous. "Oh god, do you need a doctor?"

"Paige, darling. I'm ok. It's just a little cut." I turn to her and give her a small smile. "I'll just be a minute, alright? I'm just going to wash it and grab a Band-Aid. No big deal." I turn off the tap and pull a hand towel out of the small basket on the countertop – wrapping it firmly around my finger to stop the bleeding. I walk over to her – taking in her worried stance – and press my lips to hers with reverence. "What about you, huh? I got a little distracted in my dicing when I saw you get up from the couch. How are the ribs feeling today?"

"Emily, I'm fi"

"If you're about to say "I'm fine" you should think about a better choice of words. Paige, I know you. Don't lie to me." I speak sternly, but so she knows I care. There is no bite to my words and from the look in her eyes I can see she understands the base of my concern. I grasp her uninjured hand with my own and smile at her. She's looking me right in the eyes – though I can see her body flinching as she fights the urge to look at her feet. She's come a long way.

After a long moment, she begins to speak again. "They're a little sore. Nothing big really. I probably just slept wrong or something. I just haven't really been able to get comfortable all day." I stare her down until I know she's being completely honest. I kiss her cheek quickly, and then I turn and grab a Band-Aid from the cabinet - quickly covering the small cut on my finger. I hold my finger up to show her I'm ok. She grabs by wrist and brings my hand to her face – pressing a quick kiss over the bandage. "All better now?"

"Yes, love. All better now." I laugh and pull her toward me by her hips "I could use a real kiss though, that would make everything spectacular." I smile broadly and give her an exaggerated pout – waiting for her to give into the temptation and kiss me.

I don't have to wait long as she leans fully into my body, practically pinning me against the vanity, and pulling my pouting lower lip into her mouth. I can't help but let out a moan at the feeling before I press her body into mine fully. Our lips collide in a familiar dance – our own world of passion that has been getting more and more intense by the day. I used to get butterflies whenever Paige kissed me – my heart would start to race and my skin would flush. I could feel the same reactions happening in Paige as well. Our breathing would grow ragged and we'd have to stop kissing to draw in enough air to go on living.

But lately – lately air hasn't been an issue at all. I'd gladly take her lips, her touch, over oxygen any day. As we hold each other close in the dark, our lips collide and our bodies are set ablaze. There are no more butterflies – there is a full on war raging inside my body. The butterflies are replaced with pterodactyls, and they're fighting dragons and firebirds for territory. My heart isn't merely racing anymore – it's beating too fast, so hard, sometimes I expect it to burst from my chest. My skin – once flushed at Paige's touch – burns with trails of fire with every touch and caress of her hands. I can't get enough of her. But it's not time yet.

As much as I want her – I yearn for her – neither of us is ready to take that step yet. It's hard to comprehend at moments like this though. I grip her shirt and keep her body flush with mine. I run my hands over her waist, her back, as I chase her tongue with my own. I answer every moan and gasp with a breathy response as I struggle to keep my body and mind on the same page. My Paige. We're not ready.

Very reluctantly I pull back from the kiss and rest my forehead against hers. I bring my hand up from her waist and rest it over her pounding heart – letting out a small gasp as I feel her body responding to our closeness in the same way my own does. I pull back from her slowly, letting our lower bodies stay connected. I bring my free hand up to cup her cheek, rubbing my thumb over her cheekbone and watching in awe as she closes her eyes and leans into my touch. She loves me.

"Paige. I love you darling." I watch her eyes flutter behind closed lids and her lips turn into a shy grin. Her eyes open and I see them swimming with so many emotions it's almost too much. She kisses me quickly – just a brief meeting of lips – and brings our foreheads back together.

"I love you too, Em." She whispers the words against my lips as we stand together. Just as I bring our lips back together, I hear footsteps and a voice from the bathroom door.

"Ok guys, show's over. Come on, dinner's ready." I look up and see Hanna beaming at me from the doorway. I want to curse her and throw her out of the room, but I know we have to get back. I give Paige one last quick kiss before pulling away and threading our fingers together. I walk past Hanna, giving her my best glare. As Paige passes her, Hanna ruffles her hair and gives her a smirk. I'm not certain, but I think Paige mutters "moment ruiner" to her as we all walk back into the common area.

"There they are! I told you they were probably just making out in the bathroom."

I look over to Aria and Mrs. Montgomery with wide eyes, pleading with her not to continue that train of thought in front of everyone.

"What? It's true." She answers my look without an ounce of sympathy.

Just as I'm about to pipe in to defend our reputation, my own mother cuts me off. "Seriously Em. No use denying it. I'm pretty sure we've all seen it at this point." I would protest, but a quick look around our big family table confirms it – Spencer and Mrs. Hastings, Hanna and Mrs. Marin, Aria and Mrs. Montgomery, hell, even Paige – are all nodding their heads in agreement. I can't help but laugh as we sit in our usual spots.

"Whatever" I say, picking up my water glass and smirking at Paige.

* * *

"Mom, I sleep here every night anyway, I really don't see how this is going to be any different." I'm trying my best to convince her we'll be ok, but it's harder than I thought.

"Em, I know that. I think we've worked out a decent schedule here now that Paige has decided to stay with Spencer more permanently." My mom lets out a nervous huff before plopping down on the couch beside me. "I'm just worried, you know. This is the first time I've left you – both of you – alone since the whole thing and I don't want you to think I'm not here for you."

"Mom, seriously, I need you to not worry about that. We know you're here for us – you've practically adopted Paige and you've been really amazing about this whole situation. You deserve a break too. Go see Dad – I think you both need it." I try to convey my gratitude, but I don't think my words are enough to get my point across.

My parents have been great since the lighthouse. I get to sleep here every night. Paige can't sleep without me, and I honestly don't think I could sleep without her either. At least one of us wakes with a nightmare every night and knowing the other is safe is the only way we can get through it. Paige comes over every day after school and we make dinner together – except Fridays. Friday is family dinner night. My Dad is on leave this weekend and Paige and I convinced him to plan a romantic getaway for him and my mom. They've been stressing about everything almost as much as we have – they deserve some time alone. We found a little bed and breakfast on Cape Cod, but my mom is terrified of going so far away.

"Emily, I just don't think this is the right time to go traipsing off for the weekend and leaving you guys here alone. It's only been a couple of months, what if something happens?"

"Nothing is going to happen, ok? We're going to lock ourselves up in this house and watch bad movies with the girls. Maybe Toby and Caleb will join us. The Hastings are literally right across the lawn, and Mrs. Marin and Mrs. Montgomery are both in the Marin house right across the street. Plus, the barn is decked out with a security system. We're going to be just fine. Please don't worry. You deserve a break." No amount of pleading is going to take the worry from her eyes, but I still have to try.

"But what if…"

"Mrs. Fields, can I say something?" Paige cuts into the conversation as she walks up behind the couch with a dish towel in hand. "I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but I think it's important." I can't help but look at her in awe. She's gotten so confident, so…open. It's really sexy.

"Um, sure Paige. What's on your mind?"

"Well, you see, I know that you're worried about Emily and everything – it's a pretty dangerous world out there, clearly. But I want you to know that I'll protect her in any way I know how. I don't think we'll have any problems this weekend. We haven't since...everything...and I don't anticipate anything happening. But on the off chance something does, I promise you that I won't let anything happen to her. You don't need to worry about that." My jaw just about hits the floor. That is the most romantic and loving thing I've ever heard in my life.

I look to my mom and see a very similar expression to my own cross her face. She knows just as well as I do how much Paige loves me. And as she flicks her eyes to meet my own for a split second, I know she can see that love reflected back at Paige in my own expression. We're good. We're solid. We will never let anything hurt or come between us again. It is painfully obvious to everyone in the room, and I feel the tension leaving my mom's shoulders as she smiles up at Paige.

"I know, Paige. I know you'll protect her and I'm so grateful for that. But you really need to protect each other. I can't have you getting hurt again either." She smiles at me and I give her a firm nod of agreement. "I'm going to go away with my husband this weekend and we're going to have a wonderful time. You two will both stay here and you'll call me to check in and answer all my text messages. Plus, I'll have Ashley, Veronica, and Ella checking up on you." She stands and makes her way to the kitchen island where the moms have gathered with wine and gossip. I hear her explain her weekend plans to them, and after a round of "oohs" and "that's so romantic" they all agree to keep a watchful eye over us and the barn this weekend.

I get up from the couch and walk around it before pulling Paige into a hug. "I'll never let anything happen to you either, my love." I speak into her neck as I breathe her in. I press a kiss to her pulse point and I feel her jump and gasp at the contact before I pull back and make my way back to the kitchen to help finish the dishes.

I step up to the sink and start to wash the last of the pans and feel Paige's strong arms circle my waist and her chest press firmly against my back. I smile and lean my body back into hers as I work the sponge over the dish in my hands. She rests her chin on my shoulder and we stand comfortable – surrounded by each other's love and warmth. I feel the heat of her kiss on my neck and my breath hitches as her teeth gently bite the spot where my neck meets my shoulders. She chuckles into my skin and I let my head roll back to rest on her shoulder. She presses a kiss to my cheek and I turn in her arms – lacing my own arms around her neck and leaning into kiss her tempting lips.

"Ahem" I hear from behind Paige's back. I lean my body to the side just enough to catch four sets of curious mom eyes staring back at me. "Yeah, we're all still here." They all look at each other and start to laugh and talk about how they've all caught us cuddling and kissing on several occasions. I feel Paige's torso shake as she begins to laugh along with them and I bury my head in her chest to hide my own smile.


	19. Chapter 19: Dreams

Quick Notes: Thank you thank you thank you for your reviews and follows for the last few chapters. You guys really are the best. I have a few review/reviewer specific notes at the bottom. Thanks again for reading. Love you all!

Chapter 19: Dreams

"_Oh God, Paige. Yessss right there." My voice is practically gone and my head is swimming in a haze of pleasure and exhaustion. Her hands are everywhere at once – her lips are forever on my skin. We move together on the cool sheets, learning each other, loving each other with every fiber of our being. Paige's hands are dexterous – firm but tender – as they blaze a path from my neck down my torso and pause at my rocking hips. She looks up at me from her spot on my chest – flicking my painfully erect nipple playfully before her eyes turn serious. Permission. She's asking me for permission to move her hand and I practically hiss out my approval as my own hand pushes hers down. Her fingers glide over my drenched core – my own fingers coating in wetness as I guide her hand. I feel my eyes roll into the back of my head as I throw my head back onto my pillow and let out a loud gasp. Oh my fucking god. She feels – indescribable. My thoughts start to jumble and my focus is drawn to one single point at the apex of my thighs and Jesus Christ the things she does to me. My jaw drops and I gape like a fish out of water – her lips kiss and lick down my torso – following the same path as her hands and suddenly I feel her hot mouth descend on my_

My eyes shoot open as Paige shifts in my arms. She burrows her head into the crook of my neck as her arm comes up to drape over my chest. I smile down at her sleeping form. Who knew Paige McCullers was such a snuggler? My snuggler.

I let out a hoarse sigh and pull her closer – trying my best to stop thinking about the dream I just woke up from. It's getting harder and harder to exercise self-control when Paige is around – much less when she's lying completely on top of me. Or naked in front of me. Or when I just look at her and can picture her naked in front of me. God, Fields, you are such a teenage boy. Pull it together.

Ok, counting. Prime numbers? Two. Three. Five. Seven. Eleven. Thirteen. Seventeen. We're seventeen. Some people start exploring the physical side of their relationships at seventeen. People who haven't been kidnapped and tortured and become murderers and been hunted down by a psychopathic bully sometimes get physical when they're seventeen. What the hell is wrong with me? Thinking about these things right now. Learn to keep it in your pants, Em. Learn some self-control before she starts thinking you're completely out of your damn mind. Remember the look she gave you in the bathroom earlier. You knew it was a bad idea to keep the whole shower thing going, but you just couldn't pass up the chance to get all naked and soapy with her every day. You're impossible.

_I learned it's best to break eye contact when getting undressed at bath time. The first few times we bathed together, I let things get too heated – too out of control for comfort. She makes my head spin and my cheeks burn, but it's damn hard to look away. Her stitches are out and she's left with a dark bruise and the sharp white of a forming scar. Even without her typical daily exercise routine her body is perfect. She's sitting in the vee of my legs in the bathtub as she does every day. I help her wash and try my best to keep my hands from wandering as I run the washcloth over her legs and chest. Today though, something is different. She takes away the washcloth as she does every day – the material is too rough for her sensitive chest – and uses her hands to guide mine over her breasts. I take in a sharp breath – her nipples are solid under my palms and I have to actually bite my lip to choke back a moan at the feel of her. Paige though, Paige doesn't fight the moan that tumbles from her mouth. Her back arches slightly, pushing her chest further into my hands. The pretense of washing has fallen away completely and I am just blatantly feeling her up. I'm just about to pull away and apologize for moving too fast when she turns in my arms and pulls me by the back of the neck into an intense and searching kiss. _

_At the feel of her urgent lips and tongue I finally let go of that moan and pull her into me, feeling her entire body turn until she's facing me in the shallow water. Her hands slowly glide from my neck down to my chest and I feel her fingers trace over my own breasts. _

_I never knew it could feel like this. I never dreamed that I could be this taken, this lost, at a single touch. It's still too fast but I'm having trouble breaking this kiss – trouble pulling away from her amazing touch. Pull it together, Fields. You need to stop this before it goes too far. _

_With a groan of frustration and regret, I pull back from our kiss and put my hands over Paige's on my chest. I hold her to me for just a minute, looking deep in her eyes and pleading with her to understand. I love her – I love her touch and her kiss, but it's not the right time. Not yet. It can't be yet. _

_She gives me another quick kiss before turning her body back around with a sly smile. I drape my arms around her and hold her tightly – pressing kisses to her ear as I fight with my own body to stand up and get out of the bathtub. When I finally give in, I stand and hand her the washcloth as I do every day. There is no way I can handle the sight of her washing the other…places today, so I slowly draw the curtain and turn my back to the tub. A few minutes later I hear her stand and pull the curtain back. I hand her a towel without turning back around and a moment later she's sitting in the chair we keep by the tub. It used to be so she could dry off without having to stand the whole the – but now that she's healed enough to walk around all day, it's mostly habit to sit and watch me shower. _

_I hop in and turn the water on – verging on ice cold today – and wash myself quickly. I don't look up the entire time, but I can feel her eyes on me – tracing the contours of my body, following the path of my hands with her eyes. I throw my head back to rinse the conditioner from my hair and when I lower it again and close my eyes, she's staring right at me. I gasp lightly at the intensity of her gaze. I'm not the only one feeling out of control. I finish up quickly and get out – drying and putting on pajamas blindly before meeting her in the bed._

Well, thinking about the shower was not the best move for you, Em. I feel the uncomfortable throbbing between my legs and bite back a whimper.

Paige shifts again on top of me, mumbling in her sleep. Her sleep-talk isn't in the form of screams and cries anymore – the nightmares have mostly subsided, but it's still the only time of day she's completely unguarded. This is the Paige only I get to see. The way she clutches me tightly in her sleep and talks to me while she's dreaming. The way she curls up into my body and holds on to me for dear life. The way we can't sleep without each other and waking up to her is the best part of my day. Every day.

"God, I'm so lucky." I breathe the words more than I speak them before pressing a lingering kiss on Paige's sleeping lips. I chuckle lightly. That girl can sleep through just about anything as long as I'm in the bed. But as soon as I leave – bam! – She's awake and roaring to go. Paige's lips form an adorable pout as I pull back from my light kiss, so I give another and draw her body in closer. She shifts again and her leg falls between mine – pressing firmly against my already overstimulated core. I let out a groan unintentionally before rolling our bodies slightly and removing her leg from its dangerous position.

I very reluctantly extrude myself from her grasp – kissing her forehead lightly and making my way to the en-suite bathroom. I know if I don't _take care_ of this now I won't be able to go back to sleep. I feel guilty about doing this while Paige is sleeping just in the next room, but I can't help it. It's too late for a cold shower – she'd definitely know something was up if I turned the water on right now – and I'm already going to need a change of underwear before I head back to bed. I step out of my pajama pants and toss my soaked panties right into the hamper before sitting on the chair by the shower.

Ok, Fields. Quickly and quietly. Then you can get back to your girl. My hand slides down my torso before fingers dip into the pool of wetness at the apex of my thighs. God yes. My girl. Nobody else could get me like this – just the thought of her touching me makes me flood – help me when it actually happens. I move my fingers over my clit and jump lightly – my body stiffening at the overwhelming pleasure of my own touch. I should be a professional at this by now. Paige is driving me crazy.

My fingers slip helplessly over my clit – I close my eyes and let the back of my head fall to the wall behind me. The slow burn starts to build low in my belly and I will my hand to keep moving. Behind my closed lids I see Paige's smirking face. Her hands wander over my body and it's easy to pretend her fingers are the ones slipping inside of me, drawing the pleasure out of my body. "Paige" I moan out almost silently as a jolt of intense pleasure shoots from my core throughout the rest of me. The picture behind my eyelids is so clear, so vivid; I can actually feel her gaze on me. Just like earlier while I showered for her. Just like in my dream that got me into this situation to begin with. There is something so specific about the way her gaze turns me on that it makes me jump and gasp again. I feel the rush of my orgasm and hear it pounding through my ears as the blood rushes through my veins. My hand is moving quickly now – the sound of my wetness echoing off the bathroom walls. My other hand is in my hair, gripping tightly and starting to shake with vigor.

It's coming. I feel it so surely now. My knees start to quiver and my thighs shake along with them. My feet struggle for purchase on the tile floor – toes crunching and curling as white hot heat floods through my body. Paige. There she is, still watching behind my lids. Watching and biting her lip as I careen toward my peak. I'll come for you, darling. Always for you.

Just as the final throes of my impending climax course through my body, I open my eyes and see her standing there. It's too late to stop – I'm way too far gone. One more firm stroke of my fingers and I'm falling. Paige! I almost cry out as I see her jaw drop and lose focus of her altogether. I'm floating, the intense fire of orgasm is slowly waning and it turns into a low burn. My muscles jump with aftershocks and even though I've stilled my fingers, they still rest gently over my core. I feel the smile of relief settle over my face before I remember the last thing I saw before hurdling over the edge.

Paige. Oh my god, Paige. She's here. She saw me.

I slowly open one eye and look curiously at her. Maybe she left? No such luck. She's going to be so disgusted with me. God, how could I do this when she was sleeping not twenty feet away? Nice move, jackass.

But the look in her eyes isn't of disgust. It's not of confusion or anger. The look she's giving me now is of pure, unadulterated, lust. I open my eyes fully and turn to face her. Her mouth moves helplessly open and shut a few times without any words coming out. Finally, after a couple of minutes, I stand up and pull my pajama pants back on. I approach the sink and turn to face it – breaking eye contact with my shocked girlfriend for the first time in minutes. I bend down slightly to wash my hands and feel her strong arms engulf me from behind. I let out a breath of relief and lean back into her.

"I uh, I'm sorry you had to see that. I'm sorry, um, did that here. I had this dream and it made me, um. Yeah. I just. I couldn't sleep. "I cringe at how terrible that sentence came out and turn in her arms to face her. Now that she's here and I've had a moment to grasp how embarrassing the whole situation is I can't look at her anymore. I hug her tightly and put my chin on her shoulder.

I can feel her laughing in my arms and I have half a mind to yell at her. Who the fuck laughs at a moment like this? After a minute, though, my anger starts to turn on me and I can see the humor. I laugh lightly as well before pulling back from her embrace and finally meeting her gaze again. She smirks at me and kisses me hard.

This kiss is unlike any we've had before. It's full of lust and longing – the overwhelming urge to touch and feel each other's bodies. I step back from her before our hands start to wander into uncharted territory and give her a look of apology. She only smiles again in response.

"I. I guess I'm going to go back to bed. Are you coming?" I ask hopefully.

She lets out another laugh. "Give me a minute and I will be." It's my jaw's turn to drop at her words as I look at her incredulously. I can't believe she just said that. "Em, I'm just playing, love. Let's go get some sleep." She grabs my hand and leads me back to the bed. As we're about to climb back under the covers, she reaches for the hem of her shirt and pulls it over her head – leaving her naked from the waist up. Before I have time to think, she reaches over and does the same to me. I look at her in shock as she makes herself comfortable in the bed and waits for me to lie down. Sensing my hesitation, she leans over and cups my cheek softly.

"Em, baby. I'm really really flattered and happy you were thinking of me. And as a reward for not jumping you in the bathroom, I'm going to settle for a little bit of skin contact. Is that ok with you?"

Not one to argue, I lunge at her and delve into a series of passionate kisses that leave us both breathing heavy and our bare chests heaving against one another's.

"Yeah, darling. I think I can handle that." I mutter before she settles on top of me and returns my kiss with a heated one of her own.

* * *

Shayle-Uk: That is one of the nicest reviews I've ever gotten. You seriously made the whole story worth writing with that one.

Liberal4Peace: Thanks for sticking with me! I'd love for Ashley and Ella to be together. Right now they're sort of blurry, but I'm hoping Paige and Emily's openness will help them find a way to be together.

Cici: I love your comments. The passage is from "The Great Gatsby". It's about the right grade for them to be reading in school and it's one of the best love stories ever written. Paily (in this story) will definitely live up to that kind of love.

Glad you all like the romance and Paily fluff. More to come!


	20. Chapter 20: On The Brink

Quick Notes: I'm pretty sure I've been asleep more than awake this week. That's what the flu will do to you. Anyhow, thank you all for reading and reviewing the last chapter – this one is on the spicy end as well. Answers to your questions are coming up in the story, so please sit tight. That said, on with the show. Let me know what you think!

* * *

Chapter 20: On the Brink

"Emily." I rasp out her name as I feel the empty spot on the bed. It's still warm, but she's not here. Maybe she just went to the bathroom; she'll be back in a minute. I curl further onto her side of the bed and rest my head on her pillow as I wait for her to come back. I can never stay fully asleep when she's not here next to me. I feel the clouded weight of half-sleep take over as I doze in and out of consciousness, but she's still not back and my mind can't settle until I'm back in her arms. "Em?" I call out a little louder this time, but still a little too quiet – she wouldn't be able to hear me in the bathroom. I glance at the clock with half-lidded eyes and notice she's been gone for a bit too long. I hope she's feeling ok – sometimes she gets nauseated in the middle of the night, especially if she has a nightmare about Lyndon.

I climb out of bed and steady myself for a moment before heading to the bathroom door. I knock lightly and hear only heavy breathing from beyond the door. It isn't closed all the way and opens a few inches when I rap on it again. I can hear the breathing pick up again and take a chance – I push the door open enough that I'll be able to see Emily. I pray she isn't asleep on the bathroom floor – I pray she isn't having a nightmare on cold tile like she was the last time.

As the door opens silently, I'm struck still by the vision before my eyes. Emily. It takes me a moment to absorb the whole scene, but the sight is burned into my memory now and I'm forever grateful for it. Her head is thrown back against the wall – mouth slightly open and gasping for air as beads of sweat form on her hairline. One hand is running through her silky locks, occasionally grasping and releasing as light moans and whimpers escape her lips. Her chest is heaving; nipples clearly rock hard beneath the fabric of her shirt. Without thinking, I take a step toward her and my foot almost slips on something on the floor. I look down. Flannel.

Pants. Emily's pants are on the floor. My eyes shoot back to her arching form in the chair by the shower. My chair. Her other hand is moving rapidly between her legs. The back of her hand is obscuring my view of exactly what she's doing, but my body reacts purely with the knowledge that Emily- my sweet, innocent, Emily – is getting herself off in my bathroom. While she thinks I'm sleeping in the next room. And wait….did she just moan my name? Before I have time to react, she does it again.

I suddenly feel unsteady on my feet. I get lightheaded as all the blood in my body rushes straight to my core and I grip the door frame for support. Her breath hitches and I focus on her toes sliding helplessly over the tile. A low whine escapes her lips and my eyes shoot back to her face. She is the sexiest thing I've ever seen. I can tell she's close. I watch her closely as my body refuses to move – the wall is the only thing keeping me from falling out on the floor. Her frame tightens and tenses – her back arches like a drawn bow – and just as I think she's about to break, her eyes open and lock onto mine. The contact last only a fraction of a second before her lids snap shut and she pushes herself over the edge.

Again, my name escapes her lips as her body goes completely rigid and then slack for a moment. The look of relief and pure bliss on her face makes me flood and I silently curse my inability to bring myself that same pleasure. I continue to rake my eyes over her sated form as she recovers. After a few tense moments, her eyes open again and we simply stare at each other. I expected to feel embarrassed or ashamed of how turned on I am at watching her, but I'm not. Not even a little bit. I want her more than anything and I'm sure my expression is giving me away. She breaks contact and slips back into her pants before washing the evidence of her orgasm from her hands.

I am still standing in shock and awe – committing every part of her to memory as she babbles out an apology. An apology! I'm practically dripping and can't catch my breath and she's apologizing! This is ridiculous. Her strong arms envelop me and I can't help but laugh. I feel her body tense and for a moment I'm afraid I've upset her, but she begins to laugh as well and I know we'll be ok.

Partially out of relief, and mostly out of sheer arousal, I pull back from the hug and pull Emily into a deep, longing, kiss. The urge to touch her body is making my hands tremble against her back and I can barely control the intensity of my embrace. I don't want to scare her and I don't want to push – but I want her so badly it's starting to hurt. Before I can pull myself away, she does it for me. I smile at her, silently thanking her for taking control of the situation.

"I. I guess I'm going to go back to bed. Are you coming?" she asks.

I can' help myself and revert back to an inappropriate hormonal teenager. I laugh lightly before speaking. "Give me a minute and I will be." I follow up my remark with a wink, but the incredulous look on her face makes me almost regret saying anything. "Em, I'm just playing, love. Let's go get some sleep." I grab her hand and pull her back into the bedroom. I'm too wound up to sleep, really, but we should at least get out of the bathroom. All I can think about is her blissful expression and the almost silent way she gasped my name as she found her release. I need more tonight, and I hope she wants more too.

Without a word, I pull my own shirt off and feel the cool air of the room over my bare chest. I've been naked in front of Emily every day since I got out of the hospital, but not like this. This is different. I fight the urge to cover up and remind myself that Emily was calling my name when she came. Mine. I see her eyes open wide in shock as she realizes I've just taken off my shirt, and I pull the hem of hers – she raises her arms for me, though I think it was a reflex – up and off before climbing into bed.

She looks at me with trepidation and arousal and I once again have to suppress a laugh. She looks so nervous, but so turned on that I can't help myself. I reach out to her and cup her cheek. "Em, baby. I'm really really flattered and happy you were thinking of me. And as a reward for not jumping you in the bathroom, I'm going to settle for a little bit of skin contact. Is that ok with you?"

Her response is more than I could ever hope for, and she crawls under the blankets beside me and we pull at one another while trading heated kisses. After a moment I give in to the urge for skin on skin contact and drape my upper body over hers – reveling in the feel of her naked breasts against my own. This is new. This is uncharted territory.

* * *

"Paige!? Oh God darling, we need to slow down." She chokes the words out through shallow breaths and I get the distinct impression that is the last thing she wants. I very reluctantly release her stiff nipple from my lips and trail my kisses back up to her mouth.

"What's wrong, baby?" I ask between nips of her lips. I feel her hands drifting over my naked back and she lightly rakes her blunt nails over my skin. I arch into her and bite the side of her neck lightly. Her hips jolt up into mine and she pulls my mouth back to hers. Our bodies are rocking against each other's as we fight to retain control. I feel her hand drift down my back and settle on the curve of my lower back as her lips fight to slow our pace to a simmering burn.

"We're just *gasp* you know *gasp* we have to cool off a little bit." She can barely get the words out and I know she's just as turned on as I am.

From my position half on top of Emily, I can feel her wetness (both new and residual from her earlier activities) against the bare skin of my thigh. I'm sure she can feel me too. I steel myself and pull back – fighting every instinct to stop from tearing her remaining clothes off. Our kisses slow to an almost stop and the movement of our bodies stills. When Emily finally pulls back from our embrace, I can't help but let out a frustrated groan.

"I'm sorry, darling. I just…you know we should be waiting." At her statement, I can't help but lose my mind a little bit.

"Why, Em? Oh god please tell me why." I know I sound desperate, but I can't help it. I am desperate. "I feel fine, baby. I feel more than fine. And it's not like you don't want it too, I mean. I did walk in on something pretty telling just a little while ago." The words are out of my mouth before I know it and I see the stark blush rise on her cheeks. Nice work, McCullers. She's going to think I didn't like it. "No! Please don't be embarrassed." I reach out and pull her back in close, kissing her softly and whispering in her ear. "That was by far the sexiest thing I've ever seen." I feel her shiver in my arms and I hold her tight.

A few moments later, she takes a deep breath and speaks lowly. "Paige, you know the doctor said you needed to wait until your ribs were completely healed." She strokes my hair as she talks and I know she's right. "I know you're still hurting – as much as you don't want to be – so we need to…keep things under control until you're healed enough." She hesitates for a moment before kissing me fiercely. She speaks passionately as she pulls back. "But don't ever think I don't want you. I'm…I'm so turned on right now I could burst and just the thought of you makes me need a cold shower. Sleeping here with you, with you moving on top of me, I just lost control tonight. I had to have some kind of release before I ravaged you in your sleep." The last words were spoken just above a whisper and immediately sent a new rush of excitement flooding through my body.

I bite my lip and look her square in the eyes "well, next time, you should just do it here in bed. At least I'll get to see it without feeling guilty. You are just so…sexy." I kiss her again and pull back as my hands start to wander beneath the fabric of her pajama pants. I put both hands up in surrender as I turn onto my back and stare helplessly at the ceiling. "At least now I know how you've been able to tame your body when things get a little…overheated." I chuckle lightly and feel her playful eyes on me.

She moves over to me and rests her head on my shoulder. "I'd have to; otherwise I'd be on the verge of losing my mind."

I think for a minute before speaking the words. If we're being honest, I guess full disclosure is in order. "Yeah, Em. You'd be just like me."

I feel her stiffen in my arms before she leans up on one arm and looks down into my face. "You mean you don't?" her question lingers in the air.

I shake my head nervously before speaking. "I, uh. I can't?" I take a breath and try to think of better phrasing so I don't sound like such an idiot. "I've tried. It's just never…worked." I close my eyes and look away.

Emily's fingers grip my chin and she turns my face back to hers. I hear the words without her even saying them. Don't look away, Paige. She kisses me soundly, flicking her tongue over my upper lip before pulling back. Her eyes darken and she gets that adorably mischievous look in her eyes. "Do you want to try again?"

My eyes go wide at the suggestion. I could definitely use the release, but with her here? I mean, I've never been more turned on than when Emily looks at me, but I've also never been able to successfully get myself off – even when I'm thinking of her. This could be a disaster.

I feel her start to shift away from me, clearly embarrassed at her suggestion. "I'm sorry, that was way out of line." Before she can pull out of my arms completely, I tighten my grip on her and pull her partially on top of me and bringing our lips together. I moan into the kiss and feel her respond in earnest. Our tongues glide over each other's and I feel her leg make its way between mine, pressing firmly into the juncture at the tops of my thighs. I arch into her and she pulls back enough to look at me again.

"It wasn't out of line." I pant out between heaving breaths. "I just got nervous is all."

"Don't be. I've got you, darling." She brings her mouth down and starts to kiss her way across my neck and collarbone. Her hand finds my own – clenching the bed sheets – and she guides it down my body, stopping at the hem of my shorts, before pulling back to look at me again. "I love you. And trust me; you are the sexiest thing I've ever seen, too." She smiles broadly before returning her head to my chest and planting open mouthed kisses across my feverish skin. I gasp in a breath as I slip my hand beneath my shorts and feel the wet heat pouring out of my core.

I slide my fingers over slick skin and jump at the feeling. I'm soaked and throbbing for release. Emily's mouth is moving over my chest, the sounds she makes urging me on as I imagine my fingers are her own. Slowly, I bring my hand down and circle my clit lightly. I moan at the feeling and pull back almost immediately at the intensity of the touch. Emily looks up at me confused, but I'm determined to make this work. I have an idea, I'm not sure if she'll go along with it, but it can't hurt to try. I bring my wet hand out from under my shorts and grasp hers. She gasps at the feeling and I struggle to continue moving. I guide her hand down to rest over my core on top of my shorts before pushing my own back beneath the fabric. She seems to understand what I want and rubs her hand lightly over my own before pulling me in for a passionate kiss.

I begin to move my hand again, feeling the weight of Emily's on top of mine – urging me on, pushing me toward that elusive release. I drag the pads of my fingers through my heat and revel in the pleasure it brings. I dip them lower and slowly push one into my opening – just slightly – and bask in the heavy moan Emily lets out as she feels me move. I pull my hand back up and circle my clit, slowly at first, but picking up speed as I feel an unfamiliar burn set low in my stomach. Her hand starts to mimic the movements of my own as my pace quickens. I feel my body grow hot – almost too hot for comfort – as the tension builds. Emily's other hand cups my breast as she glides her mouth over my neck and across the top of my chest. My body is on fire and I lost control as my skin begins to tingle – my limbs begin to shake. Emily can feel it, she knows I'm on the verge of something incredible and kisses her way up to my ear. My free hand –helplessly encased in a heavy brace – grasps fruitlessly at the headboard behind me. Her lips kiss my earlobe, her tongue snakes out across the shell of my ear. My pace quickens until I can't move any faster – I'm thundering toward the edge and Emily is going to help push me over it.

"Come for me, darling." She whispers – almost inaudibly – directly into my ear, and I feel the room around me fall into darkness.

* * *

I curl my body as close to hers as I can. The first light of day is just starting to filter into the room, and the chill of the air is keeping us burrowed beneath the blankets. She turns to face me with a wide smile and a lazy kiss. I lean into the kiss and revel in her touch. Just as I'm about to gush about how amazing last night was, I hear Spencer cry out from the kitchen.

Emily's eyes shoot fully open, just as my own do, and we both jolt out of bed and into our discarded clothes from last night. I've barely gotten my foot out the bedroom door before I see it. The kitchen is covered in photos. Photos of us. All of us. What the fuck is going on?

"Spence! Are you ok?" I rush to her side and glance around at the images filling the kitchen. Hanna and Caleb kissing in a tent. Aria and Ezra kissing in what could be his office at Hollis. Spencer and Toby kissing in his truck. Me and Emily kissing in front of my pool. That night? There was somebody watching us that night? I turn to Emily to ask if she has any idea what's happening, but the question catches in my throat when I see her expression.

She's holding an envelope in one hand, and a photograph in the other. I pull the envelope up and read "You know I like to keep my friends close – A".

"Em? Who is A? What is that picture?" She flicks her eyes to Spencer, who is wearing an almost identical look on her face. I give up and grab the picture from her hand.

It's me. The picture is of me. Spencer is holding me in the back of Emily's car. I look passed out and I'm bleeding. I'm wearing the star sweater. This picture is from the night at the lighthouse. The strangest part is that it looks like Spencer and I are being looked at through the rear view mirror.


End file.
